Last update: June 16, 2015
Have you ever felt or thought something that seemed difficult to express? It has probably happened to everyone. It is not easy to express certain feelings such as anger, sadness, love, ... If we can know the reasons why we struggle to bring out what we hold inside, it will be easier for us to find a solution.
Normally, not expressing what you are feeling causes frustration and, if we continue to keep things to ourselves, it can become stress.. Below you will find the 6 most frequent reasons why we find it so hard to say what we hear.
1. Perfectionism
Many people think that negative feelings shouldn't exist, while in reality all human beings have experienced fear, anger, anxiety, sadness, etc. at least once. Someone recognizes it and externalizes what they hear, others hide it because they believe that being sick is synonymous with weakness. In this sense, perfectionism is an irrational thought, because there is no human being who is perfect and who has never suffered.. Recognizing this shows great courage. Hiding and keeping what you feel to yourself can be harmful to your health in the long run. If it is impossible for you to express yourself in an environment where you are confident, it would be good that you at least write down the emotions you feel in order to bring out the negativity you carry inside.
2. The fear of being rejected
Often, behind the inability to show our feelings, there is the fear of being rejected. Especially when it comes to love, we are convinced that if we declare ourselves and we are not paid we will be humiliated, instead not being paid is not such a bad thing, it has nothing to do with a person's worth.
Often, then, we stop communicating our disagreements for fear of being rejected, when in reality it is much better for someone to reject us for showing our true opinions than to keep quiet to please this person. In this way, in fact, we would not understand if we are accepted for what we are.
3. The fear of triggering an argument
The fear of triggering an argument often it pushes us not to express our personal opinions so as not to make others suffer or anger. This fear is typical of people who do not believe they are able to face a heated discussion, they are afraid of not being up to the situation when the interlocutor will lose control of his emotions.
This fear makes us run away from problems instead of facing them with awareness of our opinions, which could greatly hurt our self-esteem, since keeping quiet so as not to anger or not to hurt indicates that we are giving more weight to others than to ourselves.
4. The power of divination
It consists of staying silent. We don't say what we think because we are convinced that the people around us must necessarily know what is wrong with us. Without expressing what we feel, we want others to guess and help us without asking them. Very often this happens in the family or in an intimate friendship: we believe that, since they love us, the people around us must know at all times what is happening to us and must help us just when we need it.
This is a totally wrong reasoning because, although they know us very well, it is difficult to know what we feel and what we need at any given moment.
5. Give up
Sometimes we think so negatively that we believe that even if we express our feelings there will still be nothing to do; that is, people do not express what they feel because they believe that it is impossible to find a solution.
This lack of hope can lead to immense discomfort and sadness, because without a positive and optimistic outlook one enters a phase of stagnation. The person lets himself be carried by the current without putting any personal commitment into it, because he believes that there is nothing to be done no matter how much he complains or expresses his feelings.
6. A weak self-esteem
Low self-esteem results in an inability to express feelings because you believe you don't have the right to ask for anything. We also tend to believe that our opinion is of no interest to others and we therefore choose to keep things to ourselves.
If a person does not realize what he is worth, he will find it useless to express himself in front of the world. Instead, we need to remember that every human being on this planet can do something that is noteworthy or that is important to someone else. You can always excel in some aspect, so give yourself the value you deserve, as you have exactly the same rights as any other individual.
Image courtesy of Metin Demiralay
