Last update: May 04, 2016
We are no longer who we were at a given moment, when everything seemed so close and distant at the same time: we will never go back to what we once were, because life demands a change from us. No longer being "the same as before" implies the good fortune of being able to extrapolate a lesson from lived experiences and learn from them.
Sometimes it is easy to notice the change in the people around us, and consequently to think that our relationship with them has also changed. Other times, however, it is more difficult for us to accept the fact that we too are different, and to realize that the mistake lies in looking at the past with the eyes of today.
When we change
It is correct to state that we become who we are as a function of the key events of our life, the ones we will always remember. Such events are sometimes the result of contact with reality, such as a trip or a disappointment in love, or even the sense of anxiety one feels when having to pay a mortgage.
To give an example, let's imagine that we have to move abroad for a period: there we will have to adapt to local life patterns, to habits different from ours and to a mentality that will lead us to open our minds; let's also say we thought we had found a faithful friend, only to discover that we have not.
It does not matter whether the experience was positive or negative, it is enough that it has filled us with feelings: we will never forget true happiness, just as we will never forget when we had to get up after a fall. What we absorb from such experiences becomes the model of who we are in the present: the essence is the same, yet we have changed.
When our social circle changes
If each of us is forced to change as a single person, the same is true for those around us and, consequently, for all the relationships that unite us. When our social circle changes - family, friends, partner… - it is good to be flexible in the face of change.
However, changes can also lead to a breakup: we believed we knew a person thoroughly, but we did not take into consideration the fact that you never stop knowing others and that we are constantly growing.
"What can I say?
Time wins everything. Defeats us,
without compassion, terrible and brutal.
Because one day you meet her on the street,
he gives you a fleeting kiss on the cheek and smiles - they're waiting for me - and leaves. "
-Rodolfo Serrano-
When a member of our social circle abandons us, we suffer a lot and the world opens up under our feet: only the passage of time and effort will help us find that person and convince us that the wound is healed. Once again, we will realize that we are no longer who we were.
We are no longer what we used to be
Time sets us in motion: it passes over us, shakes us, discovers us, reveals us and, above all, does not leave us without signs. Every day, in fact, even those that seem lost, have meant something: we constantly make decisions and when we don't, we get carried away.
"When we thought we had all the answers, all the questions changed in an instant."
-Mario Benedetti-
Getting lost is fine, even when appearances say something else. It doesn't matter if we're lost in the sky - like when we're floating on a cloud of constant cheer - or if we're lost from being too long on dry land. Both situations will be our teachers, delineating us a little better on a physical and psychological level.
The most important thing is to have the courage to go and discover ourselves, granting us the certainty of knowing how we are and who we are. In this way, we will be able to fully dedicate ourselves to everything else, finding ideas of happiness that complement us everywhere. In other words, if we shine with our changes, we will help others shine with theirs.
