Unwanted loneliness: tips to overcome it

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Louise Hay


Unwanted loneliness: tips to overcome it

Last update: April 08, 2018

Loneliness itself is neither good nor bad. It depends on how you live it and if you accept it. And we all remain or wish to be alone. We need it and it is also good for us. However, sometimes unwanted loneliness involves sadness and / or abandonment. Being alone for a long time causes serious ailments, since first of all we are sociable beings.

È it is necessary to know how to deal with loneliness, manage it or accept it. In this article we will give you seven tips to deal with it in an intelligent way, in a way that is also useful for personal growth.

The destructive loneliness

There are various forms of "negative" loneliness. A person can be introverted, but they cannot neglect their social relationships. Another type of negative loneliness occurs when one feels abandoned, alone, with no one and no hope that the situation will change. That is to say, when loneliness is felt as a condemnation: an unchosen situation, a kind of totally unjust punishment.

It can be difficult to change family or group situations, whether you are single, married or widowed. The feeling of unwanted loneliness is one of the most negative experiences for our personal, emotional and mental and physical health development.

The concept of unwanted loneliness is different from that of isolation. Much more different is the concept of addiction. We could say that they are three different faces of loneliness, with their pros and cons.

What are the common forms of loneliness?

There is loneliness understood as a removal from the din, from the masses, from the noise ...We need it to be able to "feed on ourselves", to pray, to write or to concentrate. This loneliness transforms the road that connects our inner part into a highway with various lanes.

This loneliness is necessary in our life and cannot harm us. If we are smart in handling it, it can offer us great benefits. However, many times loneliness is not chosen, but imposed. In these cases we perceive loneliness with so much intensity that even when we are surrounded by so many people we feel alone. How many people around us and how little feeling of company!

The tragic psychological loneliness

Psychological loneliness is perhaps the most terrible of loneliness. It can cause us to develop a real pathology, leading us to suicide in the most extreme cases. On the other hand, loneliness can emerge from the feeling of having no deep relationship, as well as from the absence of a true friendship or of relatives in whom one can place one's trust. It can be our own personality that predisposes it. Some studies reveal that towards the age of forty it increases considerably to culminate with the retirement and emancipation of the children.

When children become emancipated, the so-called "empty nest syndrome" can occur. So you have to act and deal with loneliness in the best possible way. Something must be done if in our work context, in the family or in our social group we feel alone and this feeling seems to suffocate us more and more.

The loss of autonomy and the difficulty of moving around favors another type of loneliness. This can enrich us as long as we learn to manage, accept and occupy it.

7 tips for dealing with unwanted loneliness

We can control and deal with negative loneliness in various ways. It is not a question of not being alone, but of not feeling alone. Among them we find the following:

Organize differently

It's a good idea organize life according to one's current state (single, widower, pensioner, childless, etc.). Do not organize it according to the stressful routine you have conducted as a housewife or as an employee in a company. It is time to incorporate activities into your agenda that allow you to exchange interests with other people.

Establish schedules

Try to keep a schedule for going to sleep and getting up. Try not to fall into total anarchy, this will offer you a great feeling of security. On days when you don't have to get up early, you don't stay in bed. Not getting your body used to an exact time will increase the feeling of melancholy.

Always eat at the same time

If possible, always eat at the same time. Have dinner every night, even if it must be a light meal. Don't fall into the trap of only eating when you are hungry and out of control. You will notice this in your physical health and in your state of mind. The disorder generates more disorder and in turn more anxiety. 

Don't let the mood set its own rhythms

Do not let yourself be influenced by the impulse of the bad moment you are experiencing. "I'm bored, I don't want to wash, change, get dressed ... I throw myself on the sofa all day waiting for a call or a guest who will never arrive". Check the schedule and try to do what you planned for that day!

Carry out rewarding activities

Do you have a vegetable garden? Go there. If you have a garden, take care of it, there is always something going on in a garden. Otherwise, dedicate yourself to the balcony plants. You can also tidy up the house, tidy up the papers, wash the dishes ... Doing something that distracts you and keeps you active is good and healthy.

You shouldn't "kill time"

We have to find something to do and fill our time. But doing something that is meaningful to us, that makes us have fun and also grow. Don't complain that you don't have much money. The rich have not solved this question and they too are bored. It is about looking for something that attracts and "catches" you.

Change your pace of life, "put another gear"

The monotony breaks with the changes. Change your habits, add some risk to your life, think that you don't need anyone to go to the movies, to go out to dinner or to travel.

The relationship we have with loneliness, isolation and addiction is in our hands. Living alone does not mean being alone or being a loner. We must accept the personal situation in which we find ourselves and struggle to share it with friends, family, children. If you are going through a situation like this… Maybe these tips can help you, even if only minimally!

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