Last update: 08 September, 2015
“He who learns and does not put into practice what he knows
He is like the one who plows without ever sowing "
Plato
The idealization of love has been present in the works of poets, painters and musicians for many centuries. This is how we came to build a series of myths that are still in circulation and, above all, in which many still believe, without wondering if they are true or not.
People tend to build too high expectations; in this way, no reality is up to their dreams. Because of this, they are disappointed with reality and have a hard time building genuine bonds of love with others.
Now we will talk about some myths and beliefs about romance and love.
Love as a whole
Love idealized by romanticism turns into the center of the personal universe. It is the apex of Good and the point towards which all the paths of life lead; it represents redemption, salvation and the culmination of all desires.
It is common to think that you will only be happy if you find a partner. It is also said that love requires many sacrifices and sacrifices if you want to maintain the relationship at all costs. It is necessary to be engaged in the couple with all of oneself, there can be no secrets or limits.
Reality shows us more: offer oneself in an absolute way and make your whole life revolve around the partner is more a neurosis than a love affair.
The human being is made up of various dimensions and cannot all be shared with the partner. There are many situations and people in life that give us moments of happiness, it's not just romantic love that does it.
There are personal spheres, spaces that we like to carve out for ourselves. They are part of our process of self-knowledge, of individual exploration. It is not at all unfair not to share them with your partner; it is not selfishness, but a mechanism to preserve our individuality.
The myth of the possession of the other
This myth encompasses a number of ideas in which the belief that couple love is manifested is a homogeneous totality in which there is no room for individuality. It is argued that true love must necessarily lead to marriage or a lasting cohabitation.
It is said that jealousy is an absolutely legitimate feeling. There are even those who say that it is one of the most obvious signs of love ("if he loves you, he is jealous of you"). Infidelity, on the other hand, is equivalent to a tragedy, it is considered the decisive proof of the lack of love, an insurmountable obstacle, a mortal offense.
Again, reality teaches that things are not exactly as romantics claim: there is no guarantee that true love will culminate in a stable and indestructible union despite the passing of the years. Love is not a static feeling; on a daily basis, we see marriages that stand without love and relationships that break even if there is a strong feeling on both sides.
We also know that infidelity exists and it even takes place in relationships between people who are very much in love. It does not depend exclusively on the lack of love: often, it is more linked to personal insecurities and gaps than to relationship problems.
Most likely, we would be much happier if we stopped believing these myths about romance. In this way, we will cease to desire things that do not exist and we will be able to enjoy what love can give us to the fullest.
Image courtesy of Elena Dijour
