Last update: 15 September, 2015
The scars of emotional abuse sometimes they are difficult to spot. Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse is often done and received without the people close to the victim realizing it.
The worst thing is that the victim himself no longer realizes that the severity of the abuse gradually increases, which causes him to justify mistreatment that he would never have tolerated if it had arisen out of nowhere. abuse).
Emotional abuse can be more harmful than physical abuse, because it can destroy the foundation of what we think about ourselves. It can paralyze everything we are meant to be - we allow it to happen and turn it into something false to mis-define ourselves. Emotional abuse can settle between parents and children, husband and wife, between relatives, between employees and superiors, and between friends.
Usually the attacker projects his words, behaviors and actions on the victim or victims he has chosen. It is one of her favorite strategies for escaping any cognitive conflict that may undermine her self-esteem. Furthermore, it is a way of attacking the self-esteem of one's victim, making her dependent and making her feel abandoned.
How do you know if we are victims of emotional abuse? Answering the following questions may help you find the answer:
The humiliation, the degradation, the denial. Judge, criticize:
Is there anyone who makes fun of you or humiliates you in front of others?
Does he make fun of you, does he use sarcasm as a strategy to bring you down and degrade you?
Does it tell you that your opinions or feelings are "wrong" or that they don't matter?
Someone often makes you feel ridiculous, rejects you, doesn't take your opinions, ideas, advice or feelings into consideration?
Domination, control and shame:
Do you think this person treats you as if you were a child?
Does he constantly correct or punish you because your behavior is "inappropriate"?
Do you feel the need to "ask permission" before you go somewhere or do something, or even before making small decisions?
Does it keep your expenses under control?
Does he treat you as if you are inferior to him?
Does it make you feel like he's always right?
Does it remind you of your flaws?
Doesn't he give due importance to the results you get, your plans or even who you are?
Does he make derogatory or disdainful comments about your looks, opinions and behavior?
Accusing and blaming, trivial or unreasonable requests or expectations, denying one's faults:
Does he accuse you of being fake when you know you are not?
Is he able to laugh at himself?
Is he extremely sensitive when dealing with other people who make fun of him or make comments that disrespect him?
Does it justify your problems?
Does he make excuses for his behavior and tend to blame others or circumstances for his mistakes?
What does he call you, by your name or a nickname or a pet name?
Does he blame you for his own problems or his own unhappiness?
Do you often lack respect?
Emotional distancing and "silent treatment", isolation, abandonment or emotional neglect:
Doesn't he show attention or affection?
Does he not respect basic needs or does he use neglect or neglect as a punishment?
Does it play at projecting the blame on yourself instead of taking responsibility for your own actions and behaviors?
Does he not realize or does he care how you feel?
Doesn't he show empathy or does he ask questions to get information?
Co-dependence and intertwining:
Does anyone treat you not as an individual, but as an extension of themselves?
Doesn't he respect personal limits and share private information?
Do you think he disrespects your decisions and does what he thinks is best for you?
Do you need continuous contact and haven't developed a healthy support network with your acquaintances?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you should consider actively confronting the person who hurts you. Talk about what is happening to you with people you trust, because those who abuse you rely on the fact that you will not say anything.
Take off the mask of a loving and understanding person that he wears in front of others. Lastly, and most importantly, get help and assistance from a professional and free yourself from the aggressor today, because no one can trample your life like that.
