One of the main influences that forge the person you want to be is also one of the least understood. This is ours interaction with others, with the people we allow into our life. Have you ever thought about how others shape your existence?
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
The influence of those around us it is so strong, subtle and gradual, which often we do not even realize how it can affect us.
Try to think about it: from an early age this power is very influential, and intuitively every parent knows it. Why else should parents keep telling their children that they don't want them to hang out with "those kids"? Because they know (intuitively) that kids (and adults!) Become like the people they hang out with. This is why it's so important to spend time with the people you want to be like. If you want to be more successful, you need to start dating more successful people.
First you have to leave the "club of negative people". To avoid wasting time with "the wrong people", start by asking yourself three questions fundamentals:
- Who do I spend my time with?
- What kind of influence do these people have on me?
- Does this report suit me?
Don't underestimate these questions! Consider the time you spend with each of your major associates (family, co-workers, neighbors, partners, friends, etc.). Is it positive and constructive? Or is it negative and destructive? Can't you answer? Then start thinking about following points:
- What motivates you to do?
- What makes you listen?
- What makes you read?
- Where does it make you go?
- What makes you think?
- How does it make you talk?
- How does it feel?
- What does it make you say?
Finally, after seriously reflecting on these points, ask yourself the final question: Does my current relationships help me grow in the direction I have chosen for myself or not? When you have finished this analysis, try to get away from those people who only have a negative influence on you. I admit that it is a difficult step, especially when the people in question are family members or loved ones. But if there is someone who proves destructive to your well-being, you need to get rid of their influence. Remember that it may be this choice that saves your quality of life. If it is impossible to distance yourself completely, and you are forced to interact with unpleasant people (colleagues, partners, etc.), at least try to put limits on your relationship.
Are there people in your life who are constantly complaining and blaming others for their circumstances? Are there people who always judge others, spread derogatory gossip and negatively comment on situations? Stop spending time with them! Are there people in your life who, simply by calling you, can bring tension, stress and disorder into your day? Are there "dream thieves" who tell you that your dreams are impossible and try to dissuade you from believing in your goals and pursuing them? Do you have friends who are constantly trying to make you lower your standards? If so, then it's time to find new friends! In any case it is much better that you spend time alone rather than spending it with people who hold you back with their victim mentality and poor standards.
Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive, empowering and uplifting people, people who believe in you, who encourage you to try to make your dreams come true, and applaud your victories. Surround yourself with people who think in terms of possibilities, winners, and motivated individuals. As you expand your acquaintances, examine the priorities you have given yourself in life: this will encourage you to spend more time with the "right people".
A practical and effective strategy for surrounding yourself with successful individuals is to go to those places where you can find successful people. It is not that difficult! Join an association or body (of any nature: cultural, social, political or religious) whose mission you are passionate about. Attend a club (for example sports). Volunteer for leadership positions whenever you get the chance. Attend conferences, symposia, courses, seminars, counseling centers, camps and retreats held by those who have achieved what you want to achieve. In conclusion, try to insert yourself and carry out some assignment in the social context of your interest! It's not complicated at all, and once you get into the "right environments", ask people to share their success strategies with you. Then, if you approve of them, put them into action. Experience what they do by doing. If the new ways of thinking and behaving work, adopt them. If they don't work, give them up and keep trying and experimenting.
So I recommend: always keep the "weeds" of negative influences away from your life, and cultivate, instead, the seeds of constructive influence. You will have a hard time believing the harvest of luck you will reap!