Anyone who has found himself, sooner or later in his life, faced with the need to choose between one path or another. When this decision is of vital importance, so much so that once chosen we realize that at this point our life will change and we will not be able to go back, or at least we will not be able to recover life exactly as it was before, then we get anxious. But… why is it so difficult make important decisions in life? I would like to begin these reflections by recovering a story that a dear friend sent me some time ago: “The eagle is the bird that lives the longest. His average life span can reach 70 years but to reach this age, approximately around 40, he has to make an important decision: Its curved and flexible nails are no longer able to hold the prey it feeds on, its beak begins to curve so much that it is difficult for it to eat and the aged feathers are now heavy and make it difficult for it to fly. Then the eagle is faced with two alternatives: to die or to face a painful renewal process that will last about 150 days.
During this process of renewal, the eagle takes refuge in a nest in the high mountain and begins to hit a stone with its beak until it falls. At this point he waits for a new beak to grow and then with this he tears off his old nails and heavy feathers.
Once its new feathers and nails have grown back, the eagle will be able to face another 30 years of life. " I immediately point out that this story is false, but the illustrative and metaphorical power is very high and offers us an interesting perspective on which to reflect. There are several reasons why big decisions are difficult to make: 1. Uncertainty. Big decisions usually involve very uncertain outcomes. The consequences deriving from taking one path or the other do not immediately show themselves in the smallest details, and we will never be able to manage sufficient objective data that allow us to draw up a certain profile of what our path will be and what the probable results will be. This uncertainty unleashes our visceral fear of the unknown and makes us fear failure. 2. Diametrically opposed solutions. Big decisions generally do not include medium opportunities or comfortable solutions that involve minor risks. The fear comes from the awareness that we have the possibility to choose between two or more (completely different) paths, and that once the decision is made, if we realize that we are wrong we will not be able to go back. Making an important decision involves abandoning all other possibilities that might appear convenient and profitable, or that could at least save us from the possibility of failure. The fear of the great decision is not given only by the uncertainty of the new path, but rather by what it means to leave a path that we already know. 3. A small margin of error. We all make mistakes sooner or later, but many times we have a chance to fix our mistakes. Many great decisions leave no room for misunderstanding, they are opportunities such as: "take it or leave it", which is why once the decision was made we got on a train that many times we do not know what destination it will have. Perhaps we could get off the train at any station before arriving at our destination, but this is usually interpreted as a failure. 4. Effects on our life. One of the biggest fears is the awareness of the impact that a big decision will have on our life. If we choose to accept a job in a very distant city this will involve very important changes in our lifestyle, both in private life and at work. Big changes generally presuppose a transformation in our habits, in the way we relate, in our lifestyle. Are we willing to change or give up on something we consider ours to achieve change? The decision is not that simple. I leave you a sentence from Victor Frankl: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are faced with the challenge of changing ourselves”.
