Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
Life does not wait, it does not wait or plan, life happens in this exact moment, in the here and now. It is in this moment that everything happens, that opportunities sprout and trains stop at the stations warning of an arrival that will never be repeated. Remember, we must live in the here and now without putting off the happiness we deserve today until tomorrow.
This message, which in itself is inspiring as well as truthful, contains a nuance that we may not have thought of before. Most of us know that the best opportunities happen in the present moment; however we don't always see them, or even worse, we do not feel prepared to take them, we lack a certain audacity, a certain courage to overcome the line of fear.
"Now, a curious word to express a whole world and a whole life."
-Ernest Hemingway-
If we ask ourselves the reason for this indecision or this "blindness" in seeing the doors that open every day in front of us, the answer lies in our cultural heritage, in our education and in the vital perspective that they made us assume. So, almost since childhood they convince us that there is a place where we will be happy, that a day will come when, based on our efforts, our confidence and our desire to excel, we will achieve this goal, the desired goal.
Maybe that's true for some people; however if there is one element that characterizes our current world it is uncertainty. Sometimes those who try harder don't always get what they want and those who sow more end up reaping less. Basically, many of us spend half our lives waiting for a "something" that never happens, dissolving our hopes and expectations in this eternal expectation.
So let's try to apply a new strategy, let's stop focusing on the future to appreciate the here now a little more, we invest in a quality present through a receptive gaze, an open mind and a heart that takes what it needs.
Appreciate the here and now to invest in happiness
For many, living clinging to immediacy, to what is happening right now, presupposes little more than an act of irresponsibility. First of all, we need to understand that living in the here and now does not mean that we should take a hedonistic view, a carpe diem in the purest baroque style in which we just enjoy the moment as if there was no tomorrow. In reality it is exactly the opposite, because taking advantage of the present also means investing in the future.
Paul Auster said that people must learn to live today, because “What does it matter who you were yesterday if you know who you are today?". The secret lies precisely in this, in knowing who we are today, in remembering where we are, what we need and where we want to go. In fact, it is worth noting that there is a very common type of patient that psychologists find in their clinical practice, the one “disconnected” from himself and from the present moment.
Many people have a difficult feeling; when they try aemozione complex or problematic, they do not hesitate to interpret events as "threats". After doing this categorization, they choose to look elsewhere, saying "tomorrow will be another day", "tomorrow I'll be better" or "time resolves everything and everything heals".
They just accumulate conflicts, gaps and frustrations, like someone carrying every stone found on the road on their backs. They evade any responsibility towards their person without knowing that those who take care of their emotions in the here and now invest intelligently in their happiness.
"Some are willing to do anything but live in the here and now."
-John Lennon-
Train your mind to live in the here and now
Our mind is like a child hyperactive traveling by car. He needs a toy, something to do, to look at, to think about, to ramble on, to worry about and even obsess about. Our thoughts never stop and are almost always focused on the immediate future. We are like that little one in a vehicle asking how long it takes to reach the destination.
We forget that life is not a destination, life is a journey, it is made up of moments, of fragments rooted in a present that too often escapes us. One way to improve the our approach, to decelerate that car's engine and enjoy it a little more, is to practice full attention. To achieve this, we must train the mind through appropriate strategies. Let's see some examples.
Practicing full attention: living in the here and now
- Apply the following affirmation in your everyday life: knowing how to live is doing the best that is in our power at any given moment.
- A calm mind is synonymous with a clearer life. To achieve this state of internal balance, it will be helpful to practice meditation, yoga or deep breathing.
- Don't leave the worry you feel today for tomorrow. Any complex emotion, anxiety or problem must be resolved in the present moment.
- Practice your approach, pay attention to everything you do, to what surrounds you in the present moment. Avoid multitasking.
- Take a walk in the middle of nature every day for at least half an hour.
- Be grateful, appreciate everything you have and everything around you.
- Learn to listen better.
- Eat without haste, enjoy every bite, every flavor.
- Share quality time with your loved ones.
- Practice hobbies that interest you and that awaken your creativity.
In conclusion, learning to live in the here and now requires first of all will and daily practice. Nobody changes their approach from week to week, but with will and determination we will appreciate much more what really exists, that we can touch, feel and enjoy: the present.
