Last update: 01 March, 2016
Hi, I'm you, but with a few more wrinkles, with a few more years, and with many experiences behind me… And just as many in front of me. Every day I think of you, and I try to recover your sweetness and naivety.
Life has confronted me with complicated situations, such as the death of a loved one, the illness of a family member or friend, the end of various love affairs, the loss of a job. But I've never forgotten about you.
I have also had very happy moments, met wonderful people and been to wonderful places. I loved, I kissed, hugged, laughed and, above all, I learned things that I would rather not learn, and things that I wanted to know instead.
"Innocence has nothing to fear."
-Jean Baptiste Racine-
What I have learned
Sometimes learning was painful, because life taught me things that I didn't know as a child and that even now I'd rather not know. She taught me that people I love very much can get sick, that people who hold a special place in my heart can disappear from my life, and that there are situations where I have not been able to express my feelings as you did. .
Yet I know it continues to exist in some corner of my heart. I hear you when I'm in the car and sing my favorite song, when I dance alone in the house, when I laugh to tears with a friend or when I do one of my crazy things. Even if sometimes I find it hard to feel close to you.
I need you to remind me every now and then that in this world there are wonderful people, capable of loving and of transmitting love. I need you to remind me that I am able to get excited again, even though I sometimes think I have lost my enthusiasm, and that life is much simpler than it seems.
I would like…
I'd like to wake up one day and say I don't want to go to school because I'm sick, and stay home and draw imaginary animals capable of flying without wings or crossing oceans of chalk. I would like to be able to always say what I think, with an innocence that will not offend anyone.
I would like to be able to cry when I want and where I want, without having to hold back the tears. And above all, I'd like to recover the innocence of your gaze, that gaze that made me think the world was a kind place.
I don't know at what point in our life we separated, but it was a complicated breakup. Maybe at some point I even forgot you, but the look of a little girl in a park on a spring day reminded me of playing afternoons with my friends, the adventure of when I spent a night at home. of a friend, the curiosity of my first plane trip, my prying comments made with an innocent and curious smile.
"There is nothing more like the innocence of indiscretion."
I need you to remind me
I need every day to whisper in my ear what I already know, but which I sometimes forget without wanting to. I need you to invade me and force me to let go, not to be afraid of anything, to feel and live like a child. Remember me…
Who are able to dream
Dreams are made to come true, not to be put in a drawer and then forgotten. Don't let me forget my dreams, but feed them, push me to dream every day, let my ideas build new ones and turn them into something I can feel, touch, taste.
Which are able to excite me
Over the course of my life, I have moved further and further away from your innocence, because circumstances have led me to lose the enthusiasm and transparent gaze of when I was a child. For this reason, I need you to remind me that I am capable of feeling a thousand emotions and being enthusiastic about what I am passionate about and for the people who make me feel good.
That I am able to demonstrate my feelings
You cried without caring where you were or you laughed without asking yourself if it was the right situation. You hugged and kissed all of a sudden, and I suddenly stopped doing it. Maybe it was a way of defending myself or not showing my vulnerability. Remind me it's okay if I cry, laugh, hug, or kiss for no reason, just because I feel like it.
That I have to give smiles
The world is sometimes an unwelcoming place, but I know that if I smile, I will look at it with new eyes, with your eyes, and I will be able to appreciate every cloud that moves in the sky, every leaf that falls from the trees and every ray of sunshine that illuminates my gaze ... Which, after all, is yours.
“Every day we know more, and we understand less”.