Last update: February 19, 2016
We usually make a distinction between serious relationships and those that aren't, but what exactly does serious relationship mean? In reality, the definition can vary from person to person: commitment, honesty, loyalty, having the exclusivity ... Yet every single relationship should be serious. What's the point of a non-serious relationship?
New technologies should serve to bring us closer, but in reality they favor the creation of an abyss between people, of a reality in which we are no longer ourselves because we wear a mask, to look better, to hide or not to show who we are.
“Stay with a love that gives you answers and not problems. Safety and not fear. Trust and never doubts. "
-Paulo Coelho-
If I enter into a relationship with a person, I expect them to behave with seriousness, respect and honesty. This does not mean that I want to own it, that I want exclusivity. Means that if I tell you the truth, I expect the truth from you; that if I respect her, I want her to do it too; that if I let her live in freedom, I myself can live freely, in mutual respect.
A serious relationship is ...
The term seriousness usually refers to frankness, truth, freedom, respect and sincerity; every relationship, in fact, is important, whatever it is, it is unique. Serious relationship can indicate many things, but above all:
A relationship where you are yourself
Whatever type of relationship you have, whether you are a long-term or casual couple, you have to be yourself, bare your mind and don't hide behind layers of mere appearance. We tend to dress for others, to say what we expect the other to like, but what remains of us?
A relationship to commit to
It doesn't matter if it lasts an hour, a week or five years, a relationship with another person involves a commitment to mutual respect and honesty. And if there is sexual intercourse, the respect will have to be even greater, because you are stripping naked in front of someone, and that someone is stripping naked in front of you. Doesn't that seem serious enough?
A relationship in which the other is respected
Those who run away after seducing someone are afraid of themselves and of committing themselves as they are. Even if it's a one night stand, respect is key. Make it clear what you are looking for, speak openly; if you act with respect, no one can claim anything from you.
"Building a solid and honest relationship means combining love, conviction and commitment in equal parts".
-Walter Rice-
A relationship between brave people
Courageous are those who have the courage to show themselves as they are, without hiding. Who is not afraid of feeling, who is ready to express what he feels aloud, who does not turn away for fear of himself. A brave person is the one who, if he wants to see you, will see you, without mincing words. When a brave person kisses you, they do it with all their heart, with all their soul.
The virtues of a serious relationship
The merits of serious relationships are many, the problem lies in the fact that we tend to choose the stories we want, the ones we want to carry on; yet it is not possible to fix the concept of a serious relationship if you despise some stories and accept others: relating to another person is in itself something serious.
Truth
Even a story based only on sex will be serious. If I'm only going to sleep with you once and then disappear, I'll tell you so you can choose; I will not hide behind a thousand lies to make you feel good, to have your consent.
"Emotions are experienced, felt, recognized, but only a part can be expressed through words or concepts."
-Laura Esquivel-
Consistency
If you tell me you love me, you don't disappear after two days, you don't try to avoid me, you don't stop calling me or replying to my messages, you don't run away, because I'm not to blame for who you are. If you tell me you love me and I reciprocate, we should both do everything we can to share our time, to look for and find us.
Freedom
Being free does not mean being cowardly. Freedom means respecting each other's spaces, respect what we are and what we are not, our tastes, our concerns and those of others. If someone suffocates you because he does not respect your freedom, perhaps you are the first to disrespect yourself.
For all these reasons I am looking for a serious relationship, for real. I do not conceive of stories "as a joke" or not serious, I do not conceive of disrespect, cowardice and escapes.
