How to get rid of resentment

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Louise Hay
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How to get rid of resentment

Last update: May 25, 2015

Grudge is a negative emotion we feel when someone has behaved badly towards us and hurt us. However, carrying a grudge does not solve problems, on the contrary it makes us unhappy and makes us suffer. The feeling of resentment is presented as a kind of protection for us, to make us escape from the pain that a certain gesture or behavior has caused us. Unconsciously, when we are hurt and disappointed, we turn sadness into resentment to feel stronger.



To eliminate resentment, it is not necessary to forgive, because there are serious situations in which it is neither possible nor advisable to do so. However, we should still try to say goodbye to this negative feeling in order to be at peace with ourselves.

Very often the grudge can be strong enough to push people to take revenge. What is certain is that this feeling worsens the state of inner discomfort, since if you feel a grudge, it means that the feelings were at stake. Taking revenge could grant a feeling of momentary well-being, but it always ends up producing more pain, because it contradicts oneself. In fact, if a person has hurt us and we take revenge, we will end up hurting someone ourselves and as a result we will feel full of guilt and regret our behavior.

What do we gain by feeling a grudge?

There is nothing positive about feeling a grudge, especially since the person who hurt you is often happy and doesn't feel guilty about the pain they caused you. On the contrary, those who have received the wrong continue to suffer and harm themselves. For this reason, nothing is gained by feeling resentment, this feeling only increases the suffering of those who feel it.



A few positive phrases to eliminate resentment

The way of thinking is crucial to regaining inner peace, since until you stop thinking and rethinking what happened, if you continue to ask yourself questions that cannot be answered, if you continue to ask yourself why it happened to you, which is an injustice, what mistakes you could have committed, you will never stop feeling a grudge. 

Instead, we recommend that you think so that you can let go of the past, cut the rope that keeps you stuck in what has already happened, and keep moving forward, putting your soul at peace. We propose below some phrases that will help you to abandon and eliminate the grudge.

“Life is like this and nothing can be done. I learned from everything that has happened to me and now the important thing is my present life and what will be my future life ”.

“I free myself from guilt and grudges, now nothing can be done. I decide to focus on my present because looking back can only hurt me ”.

“I love myself and accept everything that has happened. I received a lesson from life and I decided to go on, putting my soul in peace ”.

4 tips to eliminate resentment

1- Let off steam: Take a day to let off steam, to externalize everything you have inside. You can talk to someone you are very familiar with or write with. Say or write down everything you think and feel deep in your soul.

2- Don't go back:: Once you have vented, try not to step back, as it would be painful. You let off steam to express all your feelings, but once you do, you have to forget and move on.



3- Accept and learn: Accepting what happened means getting rid of resentment, hatred or any other negative feeling we have. It means accepting that the past cannot be changed and leaving aside all negative things, focusing on learning the lesson that situation has taught us.


4- Continue to live in peace with yourself: You will be able to practice new habits that will help you achieve inner peace, such as exercises to relax, leave some time to devote to what you like best, do physical activity and above all get on with your projects, your hobbies. , your desires, trying to always keep you active.

Always remember that what we feel does not depend on the external situation, but on the way that each of us has to manage emotions. Never allow negative events that occur to affect your inner well-being. This depends only on you, be aware of it and remember it every day!


Photograph courtesy of Tonymadrid Photography

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