Last update: June 24, 2015
All our life we have been sold the so-called "Romantic love" continuously. We have read about it in dozens of novels, we have given up on it in thousands of movies, in hundreds of television series and even through fashion and advertising.
Could we then say that romantic love is some kind of deception? Maybe not or maybe yes. Despite this, we could define it as an "unconscious love" since in a certain sense it is nothing more than an idealization of emotional relationships, when we establish a very intense attachment and a mutual dependence that almost never ends well.
It is not right to idealize love or to fantasize about what the ideal partner should be like. We may never meet him if we live by this perfect model that we dream of. Sometimes it is said that true love does not come immediately to meet, but that comes from within us.
The perfect relationship must be built in a "conscious" way, with effort, dedication and emotional maturity.
The "conscious" love that does not fear loneliness
We speak of "conscious" love. If you have never heard of it, it is worth investigating through a few brushstrokes that will suddenly paint the canvas of those emotional relationships that we want to describe to you.
- Couples who love each other in a "conscious" way they don't see themselves as sweet halves who need to come together to be "one person". They are complete people who are not afraid of loneliness, sweet halves who offer their fullness and emotional maturity freely to their partner to make each other happy.
- The people who create "Unconscious" relationships are typically immature. They look for other people to fill their emotional voids, to balance their problems and to establish a generally toxic attachment. This is why they do not hesitate to manipulate, to use subtle blackmail in the face of everything; they are afraid of being alone again, alone in that immaturity that they have not yet been able to resolve.
- People who see themselves as complete and who are lucky enough to meet a partner equally mature emotionally they are able to create that "conscious" love in which everything flows normally. There are no needs, there are no gaps to fill, there is only mutual trust and understanding for which true love is built day after day. Not an ideal one. The true one.
How to create a conscious couple relationship
Is it possible to create emotional bonds that really work? Yes. Establishing a relationship based on conscious love must start first and foremost not from a need to "fill an emotional void", since it is not a question of seeking, because when this word is used it is like highlighting a lack, a need .
It is about waiting, letting ourselves be carried along that path where the most important thing is ourselves. Enjoy yourself and your everyday experiences from which to learn everything, to enrich yourself as a person and mature. Love will come when the time comes, but don't try to create an ideal, to look for the perfect person.
To understand better, write down the following tips.
1. The best thing is that you don't obsess about finding the perfect person. Start with yourself, form first the person you really want to be.
2. Build your emotional balance, strengthen your self-esteem, defend your values.
3. Is important that learn to be alone, to understand that loneliness is neither harmful nor dangerous. Do not force anyone to stand next to you just because you are afraid of them.
4. Do not lose the illusion or the innocence to start new relationships. Don't be afraid to make the same mistakes in the past, you have received great lessons and you know what you need.
5. It is known that in a sense we all have an ideal of what our perfect partner could be. Nobody can avoid it. Despite this, if you know what you want to find, start by being the person you would like to have by your side. Eventually the right person will be reflected in you.
6. Finally, always take one aspect into consideration: you deserve to be loved fully. Don't doubt it.
Image courtesy of: Benjamin Lacombe