Friendship between man and woman

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Robert Maurer

Friendship between man and woman

Last update: January 13, 2015

I friendship relationships are the ones where people they share selflessly some aspects of one's personal life, because they coincide in some values, some beliefs, some interests, etc.

It is a question of relations between man and woman indiscriminately; however, there are some taboos when a friendship is born between a man and a woman.

Some prejudices and stereotypes I'm:

1. "Having friends of the opposite sex is not well regarded"
It is customary to think that this type of relationship is based on physical attraction on the part of both "friends".
2. "Everyone will think that you are engaged"
And for this reason we tend to avoid or hide this type of interpersonal relationships, for fear of what people may think.
3. "We are always looking for something else"
This prejudice is another reason why friendships that could arise are avoided; in this case for fear of what might happen or for what the other person might want, especially if we fear that it is not the same as we want.

Where do these prejudices and stereotypes come from?

In life we ​​do not choose our parents, nor our children, much less our work colleagues, nor our neighbors. However, we choose our friendships for compatibility in some aspects of life, just as we choose our partner, even if in addition to compatibility, in this case it is necessary that there is something else for a person to become our partner. or. This is precisely what distinguishes friendship relationships from couple relationships.

Even if both have in common the sharing of some elements between the two people involved, they are very distinct relationships, characterized by very different feelings. As a consequence there is the social prejudice of mistakenly believing that all friendships with the other sex can turn into a more intimate relationship or a relationship of a sexual nature. 

Furthermore, the two relationships differ in their character: the couple relationship is of a private nature, in which both people will look for intimate and close places, that of friendship is of a social and public nature, one does not find each other in a intimate and private environment that is looking for a couple or who has intentions that go beyond just friendship.

Can we just be friends?

If we understand the difference between the two types of relationships, those of friendship and those of a couple, then we can only be friends without fear, nor secrets and without giving weight to the opinion of others. Conflict arises when this is not clear and we continue to think or fear that being friends means having to be something more in the future.

Is there friendship in couple relationships?

Certainly, in many cases, the origin of a couple is the friendship that united the two people, a friendship that allowed them to get to know each other well and that later favored the birth of another type of feeling, be it one of attraction, falling in love, love, etc ...

However, it is not the same for all relationships; sometimes, the “love at first sight” occurs first, the attraction and falling in love with respect to friendship, which in some cases arises later.

Why point out the differences?

It is important to point out the differences between one type of relationship and another, be clear about the type of relationship you want so that you can enjoy it completely, without fears, or embarrassments, or secrets.

Expressing and saying in an open way what everyone wants or hopes from the relationship means not deceiving, not seeking or expecting something that the other person does not want and this also serves not to prejudice the already existing relationship due to incorrect expectations.

Not being clear about the type of relationship the two people want, moreover, causes emotional conflicts, since we can confuse a friendship with another type of relationship such as one in which a feeling arises between the two or one in which you try to make up for some emotional need or lack on the part of one of the two subjects.

How do you know what kind of relationship we have?

It's simple: tell the other person what we expect or want from the relationship, as well as listen to what the other person has to tell us. This way, we will know what kind of relationship we have and what we should expect from it. By behaving in this way, the fear that something we do not want to happen will disappear and therefore we will be able to enjoy a healthy friendship to the fullest or whatever it is, always in agreement with the other person.

Is it possible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex while having a partner?

If the friendship is well defined, and so is the relationship as a couple, there will be no conflict. When we decide to get engaged, we don't give up on our social life, neither to the one that existed before the couple relationship nor to the one that could be born later.

In fact, couple relationships that condemn themselves, giving up or demanding that the other person give up their social life, are doomed to failure, due to the dissatisfaction that this generates. Personal annulment and isolation trigger unhappiness with the chosen partner.

Following this, not only can, but it is good to maintain friendship relationships in addition to the couple relationship, whether they are in common with the partner or own friendships.

How to keep friendships without your partner getting angry?

Trust and sincerity must not be betrayed in every moment of the relationship.

Friendship is not a sin, but a necessary social aspect for the human being. Just as we don't hide our parents, therefore, we don't have to hide our friends either.

The best way for a partner to accept friendships with people of the opposite sex is to inform them and make him participate in this friendship, if he so desires, since, as we have said, friendships belong to the public and social sphere. Therefore, they can be shared with several people.

Treat your friends naturally, without omissions or lies and tell your partner everything, otherwise he will think that there is something underneath, that you want to transfer the friendship to the private sphere, secret and intimate to which all those relationships other than friendship belong or that pretend to be.

Photos per gentile concessione at KieferPix

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