Last update: 11 September, 2016
Asking for help is not synonymous with weakness or vulnerability. In reverse, asking for help is an act of courage through which we not only recognize our limitations, but also understand and accept the role that others have in our personal growth.
In this sense we could say that asking for help is, in reality, an act of strength and humility, because sometimes it is precisely through the request for support that we recognize the value of others and fight against the pressure that is often transmitted to us by the need to be "Self-sufficient".
As we have already observed several times, the human being, with his complex psychological system, is designed for cooperation and relationship with the environment that surrounds him, which aims to achieve collective development.
Trust: a pillar
When we ask for help, we express our trust in others, because we expose an important part of ourselves for someone else to heal. Through this simple gesture, we strengthen our bonds. We are honest and care about those around us, because we know they can do something for us.
We tend to think of asking for socio-emotional help as a double-edged sword, which could lead others to take advantage of us or damage our independence, seriously threatening our ability to do things on our own.
Very often it is bad past experiences, that set of expectations and disappointments, that make us think in this way and make us reticent when it comes to asking for help and showing others our needs.
It is certainly a sensible reasoning, but we cannot live with the fear that a vase will fall on our head every time we go out on the street. And this means that the limits we set ourselves are only useful when we find ourselves in a situation where it is really necessary to protect ourselves, not beyond.
Asking for help is also a great way to start relating to someone, as well as being a basic and indispensable social skill for our well-being. Just as we like to help, others can feel good when they help us.
Far from being selfish, helping others is a way of contemplating the beauty of human relationships and the bonds that are established between people and that arise from our actions.
For this reason, it is good to leave aside pride and the need to feel infallible, as well as excessive reservations in sharing what happens within us. And let's not forget that even shame is not a useful feeling in these cases.
On the other hand, another of the most influential factors when asking for help is the fear that it will be denied us. At that point the fear of being judged frightens us, as does the possibility that others notice our "weakness" and that all this makes us vulnerable. For this reason, to ask for help, you need a good dose of trust, and we need to feel comfortable in front of those people. If we don't work on these two pillars, the exchange will never happen smoothly and naturally.
For all these reasons, it is not worth losing the opportunity to touch the goodness of others and improve our vision of the world. When we ask for help, we all win, because both giving and receiving is extremely enriching. Helping is wonderful, but letting us help is no different. It's worth a try!