Last update: 09 September, 2015
It is possible that you have experienced this feeling more than once in your lifetime. The feeling that you can't go on, that someone won't let you get what you want; because they are clipping your wings or binding you to chains that do not allow you to escape their sphere of control.
Personal growth requires opportunity and self-confidence, courage and self-will. Often parents or teachers are figures who exercise their power clipping the wings.
There are educational models in which the natural curiosity of children is cast down, their minds imprisoned in pre-established parameters, in which there is no room for spontaneity and creativity. We end up educating equal and standardized pupils, with a rigid mentality, who cannot adapt to a complex world like the one we live in.
There is not only the case of parents and teachers who limit the personal growth of children. Sometimes, the scissors that clip the wings are found in our partner's hands: we live relationships that, far from allowing us to grow and mature as people, take away our freedom and block our aspirations. This is a very complex issue that deserves to be commented on.
The barriers to personal growth
How can personal growth be defined? It happens to feel a certain restlessness within us, which takes the form of emptiness and hope at the same time. People overflow with goals, projects and aspirations with which they challenge themselves to feel capable, useful and valuable.
It's not always about big projects, sometimes we just want to feel good, independent, brave and confident. However, the social circle that surrounds us exerts a considerable weight on these dimensions.
What are the main barriers to personal growth? How can we win them?
- Distrust (both towards others and ourselves). This is a vicious circle: think of those overprotective parents who build one barrier after another, in the hope that the child will always remain united with the family.
They do everything they can to keep him dependent, making him frustrated at work. They erect walls, clip his wings day after day, make him believe he is not a skilled person. It is a very high risk.
- Insecurity. It is curious to see how people who live dynamically and independently suddenly create relationships in which their personality changes. Control by the partner is addictive, which turns into fear and insecurity. These are toxic relationships, in which personal growth is completely annihilated.
- The loss of control. The moment we sense that they are clipping our wings and, at the same time, we allow it, it is where we lose all control of the situation. Why do we do it? Why do we allow others to build walls around us, blocking our personal growth?
Sometimes it is out of fear, sometimes out of affection, out of a toxic love on which we depend and on which we cannot separate. It may also be due to a lack of willpower, because you have been living in your comfort zone for too long, and there everything is certain and predictable. These factors must be taken into consideration.
Don't let anyone decide for you, or limit your aspirations. What you feel inside must act as a stimulus to rebel. Personal growth requires courage and a willingness to seek the wind that will finally set you sail.
Search your ocean, start your engines and turn your back on those who want to clip your wings. Remember that those who want to keep you under his control will do everything to convince you that he loves you, that he gives you and will always give you the best, but it is not true.. Those who truly love neither impose nor hurt, but understand and open the way for you to advance together, with trust.
