Loves that hurt

Who I am
Louise Hay

Loves that hurt

Last update: April 13, 2015

It might seem a contradiction, but it is an everyday reality: there are forms of love that hurt, that stray far from the virtues and qualities of love..

Undoubtedly, the most serious damage is what we inflict on ourselves: thoughts, insecurities, fears constantly overflow from our heart and compromise our present and our future.

And that's why if we don't love ourselves properly, if we don't take care of ourselves, our projection on our loved ones won't be the best: emotional ineffectiveness will continue to hurt the people we love.

The emotional base always resides within us and taking care of it is a job that we must add to our list of daily responsibilities..

When we give our love to others, we sometimes take recipients for granted. The different feelings we experience are amplified and not knowing how to manage them correctly will compromise love.

Why does love hurt?

Perhaps one answer could be the ability to ruin a loved one along with our fears and insecurities. Below, we give you some examples of loves that hurt:

Excessive protective instinct: for many parents this feeling arises and grows during the life of their children. What at first is a natural emotion, with the passage of time becomes a wall where the ideas and illusions of the children collide. The "no" becomes the main weapon that is used to stem fears, without knowing or listening to the emotions of the children, in this case. This way of loving returns only misunderstandings and a non-existent ability to communicate, which over time will affect us.

Inability to put yourself in the other person's shoes: this concept must be further explored, as it is one of the most important psychological concepts that the human being can develop and which prevents many bitter situations in life. To love is to understand the other person, be it a child, wife, husband, etc.. Trying to know who is shaping us or not, his feelings about him, what he does and how he does it, who he is. We are not perfect and we must open our capacity for reflection to everyone, like it or not, and this will help us to love people and to know them in a broader sense. Putting yourself in the place of others enriches the vision of the emotional relationships we have and is a form of healthy love compared to others that instead hurt. 

Love hurts and hurts when what we give is poisoned by our ghosts. The act of loving must be free from shadows, honest, pure, otherwise we do nothing but add pain to a feeling that instead has the function of accompanying and supporting our loved ones throughout their life. 

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