I don't need you, but I want to be with you

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Joe Dispenza
@joedispenza
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I don't need you, but I want to be with you

Last update: February 16, 2020

I don't need you, but I want to be with you is a phrase that reflects a person who is sure of what he feels for his partner, but who does not depend on him because he is aware of who he is and where he wants to go.

When we are aware that we love our partner, but at the same time don't need them to be happy, we practice healthy and mature love. A love in which dependence on the other does not command, because the latter is not there to fill gaps and needs.



"I don't need you, but I prefer you."

-Walter Rice-

I don't need you, but I want to be with you: I respect your freedom

In mature love, the freedom of the partner is respected, indeed, it is put in the first place because what rewards is not chaining, but letting it fly, letting the other choose us. According to this view of love, each of us is in possession of a series of freedoms:

  • Freedom of choice. Each person enjoys the ability and the right to choose their own path, however strong their relationship with someone may be.
  • Freedom to try. Beyond the deep connection with their partner, everyone has their own emotions that must be respected, since we all live experiences in a different way by building our own personal vision of reality.
  • Freedom of expression. Each expresses what they feel and think in a specific way, depending on how much they are influenced by their beliefs, their culture and their experiences.

This being the case, when we have a relationship with another person, whether it is a couple, friendship or family, we must take into account how important it is his freedom, respecting his decisions.



Love and freedom don't go hand in hand. In fact, the latter fails when we require our partner to become exactly the way we want him to.

It's wonderful to know that we don't have to be the same to have a strong relationship.

I know where I'm going, but I want to be with you

In a relationship, knowing that we can count on well-defined opinions and goals allows us not to depend on the other person why:

  • We value ourselves. We know ourselves and we understand that we are worth as much as others, without needing approval.
  • We know we can carry on with our plans. A healthy relationship does not prevent each element of the couple from having their own individual goals and goals.
  • We understand that we cannot always be together. When the partner cannot stand by us at a certain time because he has to follow his goals, we understand and support him.

In this way, by showing ourselves aware of what we want and where we are going, we will be able to understand that affection for a person does not mean that our choices depend on what she wants. Because, although stuck in a common path, everyone has their own personal path in which they are independent in making decisions.

I can live without you, but I want to be with you

I can live without you, but I want to be with you is another sentence that reflects the feelings we have towards another person. A person we respect and, above all, that we want you to be free to make your dreams come true. Because as much as we like being around her, we understand what she wants and that sometimes she has to get away.



Mature love involves knowing that you don't need another person to live, even knowing that we want to be with them. This does not mean that sometimes we cannot suffer, on the contrary, but that regardless of the pain we will not implement any manipulative strategy towards it because we know that our partner also has his life, his desires and his choices to be Do.

The world does not end if the one we love moves away. We will always have something to work on, areas to explore, places to know.


Happiness does not depend on the outside, but on our interiority because this must be an attitude of life, a choice. For this reason, the best strategy is to feel good about ourselves. By doing so, we will also be comfortable with others because we will not build bonds of necessity with them. We will stay with them because we want it. They will not fill our gaps and our needs, they will simply accompany us on our journey.

"What I feel is not a need, but being with you makes me feel good and I can be myself"

-Santiago Cruz-

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