Last update: October 15, 2015
We all make mistakes and it's normal to feel bad about them. The problem appears when we live continually feeling guilty and do everything we can to feel that way.
The fault is a negative feeling which comes from an action that we have done incorrectly and recklessly. Why are there people who cannot put the blame aside?
Many blame themselves for things they shouldn't, try to feel guilty. When there is a certain tendency to feel guilty, this suggests a bigger problem, something that torments us and that we cannot overcome. A person who tends to blame himself:
Try to be hurt
As mentioned, many people tend to feel guilty. I'm people who need to suffer. Because? Probably because in the past they have had bad moments and negative circumstances, which are beyond their reach and which many times provoke questions like “Why me?”, “What have I done wrong?”.
These circumstances cause insecurity, since they are beyond our control. However, what is the consequence of all this?
That the insecure person is looking for something they have control over. Normally it is something similar to what he suffered. For example, a person who has been mistreated will relate to someone who makes them feel inferior. It is a sought after thing, a somewhat masochistic tendency, but in which the subject is in control. She decides that others make her feel this way, she wants to hear it because it is something she has experienced in the past.
It hurts itself
The person who lives with the sense of guilt chastises himself physically, but above all mentally. Criticizes herself, he thinks too much about the evil he has done and how he should have behaved.
This self-criticism is the result of embedded faults that are transformed. For example, a person who has been mistreated perhaps thinks he should have been more complacent, that he shouldn't have said certain things, etc.
These people are mentally weak and for psychological manipulators it is perfect. The problem? They take on a fault that is not theirs, they become gloomy and sad, they don't even know if they can open their eyes. Maybe you need time or a borderline situation to face them to account for what is happening, that they are not guilty, nor have they been; who are sick for no reason.
It hurts others
The culprit is not just trying to hurt himself. Many times he also tries to hurt others, as this makes him feel superior and powerful. Sometimes hurting oneself isn't enough. The previously quoted question "Why is this happening to me and not to another?" can lead to "Share" this evil.
Having the power to hurt others also equips the insecure person with security. He feels better if others are suffering too. "I was bad? Well, it is right that the others are too ”.
The person who has felt damaged at any time sees this reaction as a kind of revenge. This is how she feels almighty and strong, but it is a fictitious power. When he realizes how much he has done, he will be sick, even though he has done it out of his control.
How to get rid of guilt?
A person who feels guilty he must be aware of it before the situation can be resolved. Afterwards, he will have to follow the following strategies:
-To apologize
If you are wrong, you apologize and move on. To err is human and we must not stop without moving forward. Let us truly repent and strive so that this does not interrupt the course of our life.
- Repair the damage
If it is possible, let's try to repair the damage we have done. Even if they don't forgive us, even if the other person doesn't believe it. Let's change the negative to the positive and let's feel good for doing everything possible to fix the error.
-Verbalize the blame
If something makes you feel bad, say it! Guilt feeds on what we keep inside, on what we don't have the courage to say.
Our goal is to be happy, not unhappy. Why not do what will then save us from problems? Do we want to feel pain?
We must change the way we act and not be afraid to verbalize what bothers us, what makes us feel bad, what we disagree with.
