Last update: January 14, 2016
Very often we focus only on the mistakes we have made in life, and we forget about all the good things we have experienced. Life is full of good times, which we run the risk of not seeing if we focus only on the bad things.
It is true that making a list of the important moments in our life or the details that have marked us is not an easy task. Our memory works selectively, choosing the memories it wants to keep and the ones it will easily forget.
The memories of our life
Memories are the images, words, smells, sensations and emotions that we keep in our backpack. It may be that the luggage we carry on our shoulders is very heavy or extremely light. But it doesn't matter if the load we carry is large, the worrying thing is that it is heavy.
We feel a weight within us when we bring to mind the memories of guilt, failures, sadness. Instead, we will feel light if, despite being aware that we cannot avoid carrying these memories with us, we decide to feel good with that backpack on our back.. It is not a problem to face life with that baggage of memories, the problem is to always choose the heaviest ones.
We must take into consideration that our memory and our mind are wonderful, but sometimes they can betray us. Our mind can play tricks on us and recover distorted memories or make the reconstruction of what really happened worse. Furthermore, our emotional state greatly affects the type of information our mind retrieves. If we feel bad, we will remember badly.
"If I look in my memories for those that have left me with a lasting flavor, if I take stock of the hours that have been worth it, I always find those that have not brought me any luck."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry-
We have to choose the beautiful in life, in order to be able to bear the ugly
The best thing to do when we find ourselves recalling scenes that hurt us, over and over again, is to keep in mind that our memory doesn't always work in the best way. Think about it, and ctry to analyze your memories more objectively.
It is also essential to take into account that not everything in life always goes as we would like, and that mistakes are part of our learning. We are who we are, and we have come this far thanks to what we have learned.
All those "if I had done ...", "if I had said ...", "if I had not gone ..." are nothing but possibilities, paths that for one reason or another we have decided not to take. Imagining alternative solutions and blaming ourselves for not having taken them does nothing but damage our present.
Instead, think about the road you have left to go, and the memories you want to add to your life's backpack. The journey will not end until we reach the goal, and memory is only part of the journey. Walk forward, there are still many memories left to add to your bio.
"To be able to enjoy the memories of life is to live twice."
-Marco Valerio Martial-
The biography of life
We are just drafts. Sketches drawn on a sheet, which turn into a complete drawing as we proceed with our experiences, thoughts and emotions. Don't allow your bio to be written with spite. Building ourselves is not an easy task. It forces us to proceed by trial and error, some successful and others that will make us fall, but life is not a one-answer exam. No one is born capable of living fully.
A good way to rearrange our bio is by expressing it. Write it, draw it, sing it, touch it or build it with your hands: it is one of the best ways to express who we are. Artistic expression is one of the best methods of telling our biography.
Enjoying the good things in life to be able to bear the bad ones also means accepting ourselves, and accepting what we have lived. It is the best gift we can give ourselves, to be able to reach the end of the path sure that we have remained faithful to ourselves.
“Life is enough for me to justify myself.
And when they call me to declare my deeds,
though only an empty chair will listen to me,
my voice will be decided.
Not for what death promises me,
but for all that he will not be able to take away from me. "
-Luis Garcia Montero-