Last update: October 07, 2015
Taking on your responsibilities means taking responsibility not only for your own behavior, but also for your thoughts and feelings. Ultimately, of its own existence.
In the course of our life, when we relate to others, most of the time we find ourselves talking about ourselves. Even if we actually think we are giving an opinion on a friend or family member of ours. We give to others what we are ready to recognize about ourselves. That is to say, we project and attribute responsibility to others for how we feel.
Most of the comments we make about others are actually pale, veiled statements that have to do with ourselves.
Therefore, what we read in others can be a reflection of what is happening or has happened to us. The outside world speaks to us and mirrors us if we are willing to see what parts or issues we have pending with ourselves.
Isn't it time to take it upon yourself?
"You are responsible for how I feel"
We are used to giving others responsibility for our emotions, or how we feel, just as we feel responsible for how others feel. We focus our attention on the outside instead of on us.
If someone around us does not feel well, we feel responsible and try to do something about it, as if we have the solution for the suffering of others; on the contrary, when it is we who feel bad, we deposit the responsibility for this feeling on the outside, that is, we pour it on other people or situations.
Who are we giving control of ourselves?
Taking responsibility for the emotions of others can be a heavy burden on our individual development, as can blaming other people for our feelings. It's not about being to blame, it's about managing your own emotional responsibility.
How many times have we said "you make me angry" or "you make me sick"?
It is not a question of finding the perpetrators, as we anticipated, but of understanding how we feel in the face of certain circumstances and accepting that we are the ones who feel this way in order to start managing anger, jealousy, anger or sadness, because answers are within us, not outside.
Just look for guilty outside, you have to look inside and grow.
If we don't take charge of our emotions, who will? The others? The situation? A little too unstable, right?
This does not mean that we must hold back or not express our emotions in front of others, rather we must take responsibility for them instead of pouring the power of our well-being or discomfort onto others. We have to take the reins of our emotions in order to manage them.
We have the right to resent or annoy ourselves about something, just as we all do. But if we take it upon ourselves, everything will be more satisfying because we will go through a process of personal discovery and growth in which every malaise, whether or not it has to do with others and with the context, will be an opportunity to deepen our knowledge.
On the contrary, we would always depend on others and on circumstances, on anything but ourselves.
And this also happens when we talk about those around us. We invite you to reflect a little more and be more aware of what you say when you express an opinion or criticism about someone. Most of the time, the things you say apply to you as well or reflect your situation.
"I am responsible for how I feel"
And what to do in the face of all this?
First, accept the fact that there is a likelihood of projecting onto others. It is not an easy task, when and if we do it it is because at that moment we are not able to take responsibility and we pour it out.. For this, we tend to remove the responsibility for our actions. Second, realize it.
"It is not you who make me angry, it is I who get angry at what happened or what you did", "It is I who feel anger, sadness or anger in the face of different circumstances in life and I do not reject them or I avoid them, but I try to accept them and then see what I can do with them. But, first of all, I admit to being responsible for myself and my emotions ”.
When we take our emotional responsibility, we take charge of everything that belongs to us, the ownership of our feelings, thoughts, actions and consequences.
Once this awareness is achieved, as observers of ourselves, we will be able to discover all those things about us that are still pending, we can work on it in order to continue to grow and mature as people. However, this is not an easy feat to accomplish. Often, we will run into a series of contradictions, because our ego likes to protect itself.
But perhaps this is precisely the beauty, the process of self-discovery with its affirmations and contradictions, to then integrate them within oneself.