Last update: July 16, 2016
It is normal to feel like we are losing our worth in front of people we love, but who, despite this, neglect us. We end up convincing ourselves that they do not love us because of some of our faults or, as we often say, "because of our way of being" or "because we are not compatible".
This means that we end up devaluing ourselves because we want to find questions and answers to everything. This "loss of value", which arises from habits or daily routines, is a very common feeling in couple relationships. The magic, the atmosphere, the displays of affection are lost and, thus, love is destroyed.
However, that it is a common feeling does not mean that it does not "drown us in emotional misery", that it does not affect us and that it does not end relationships that promised the world and that are left with nothing. Nevertheless, since we know that all this happens, it is very important to be aware of the resources we have to avoid suffering.
“Every now and then, it is absolutely necessary to commit suicide. To escape from oneself, to get lost, to feel the body empty, tired, in pain. Changing skin, drinking, hitting rock bottom and then not remembering anything. Being away from it all, and then grasping for life. Meet again. And dress in pastel colors, walk lightly and smile at the neighbors when they greet you on the stairs ".
The painful loss of value in front of the eyes of those we love
Without a doubt, losing one's value in the face of those we love is due to habits. We often get used to what we have and don't really appreciate what our partner, friends or family represent in our life.
For this reason, we neglect and ignore the care, affection and conquest of every day. Let's put aside smiles, good mornings, caresses combined with words, the ability to surprise… Everything.
Over time, we ourselves become habit, obligation and indifference and turn into cold, numb, immobile and inert stone statues.
Maybe we are affectionate with other people, we focus on our work, our passions, sports, other friendships or relationships, etc. However, we often forget to behave as we should with THAT PERSON. It is then that love dies, destroyed by indifference and from the bad habit of not appreciating what we have.
Habits are inevitable, but they must not make us lose our value
We often hear that “we don't know what we have until we lose it”, but there is nothing further from reality. Of course we know what we have, we just don't think the day will ever come when we lose everything.
We think that those people will always be part of our life, that we have endured enough to deserve the time we have left with our partner, that they are just difficult times and bad habits and that, if something goes wrong, everything will improve over the years. .
The problem, however, is that the day we witness this miracle never seems to come, everything seems to suffocate us in a storm of sadness, greyness and disinterest.
It is at this point that, probably, one of the two will begin to think (or rather, to feel) that what is not solved by turning the page, will be solved by changing the book. It is completely normal and understandable, because we cannot waste our whole life being victims of a sentimental relationship that devours us inside, that destroys our expectations and deceives our needs.
We are not made to be satisfied. It is for this reason that, often, remaining in a dead relationship for a long time and affected by indifference and apathy, it becomes a real grave, which only worsens our emotional bonds.
Being together means much more than loving each other. This is why, for any love to work, there must be mutual interest and it must be shown for what it is. On the contrary, however, the emotional bond will end up emotionally consuming the member of the couple who wants, but who cannot.