Last update: February 24, 2016
If you have had many frustrating romantic relationships, you may have come to the conclusion that loving hurts more than it should and more than we deserve. Love gives us a lot of happiness, but if we don't know how to manage it well and if we are not with the right person, it can make us suffer a lot.
Infidelity, addiction, jealousy ... all this makes us suffer. Do we expect too much from the person we love? Why does that happiness suddenly turn into pain? Today I want to choose to love without suffering, but how can I do it?
“It hurts then to love. It's like accepting to be skinned knowing that at any moment the other person can walk away with your skin "
-Susan Sontag-
Do we learn to suffer for love?
You certainly never thought about it, but What if for some reason we learned to suffer for love? Unconsciously and unwittingly, at times, we believe we have a completely different and free thought, but we are not aware of the fact that we have been taught from an early age to be as we are. If we were born in a different place, we would probably be different people.
What would have happened, then, if we were born in a place where a man can have more than one woman? What would become of jealousy then? Our culture teaches us that love is very beautiful, that it makes us happy and, often, even that, in the absence of this feeling, achieving that desired happiness is impossible. However, this happiness brings with it a number of side effects. Do you want to know what they are?
- The fear of the monotony that all couples face.
- Discussions that can dent or enrich the relationship.
- Jealousy that can destroy trust.
- The infidelity that hurts us and makes us feel like we have been stabbed in the back.
These are just some of the challenges we face when we are in a romantic relationship. Because, when we have a partner, we treat them as if they belong to us, which is very curious. We expect too much of him / her and any unexpected attitude (such as infidelity) can disappoint us.
Think about it ... all relationships are based on total trust, but let's be realistic! There will be many partners who will disappoint you, because they will destroy the trust you have placed in them.
"To love is to give a person the power to destroy us and to trust that he will not do it."
-Anonymous-
Stop suffering for love!
Almost everyone has the same concept of a romantic relationship. Among its characteristics, there are all those that we have listed before: that there is no infidelity, that monotony can be overcome, etc. However, do you want to stop suffering for love? We should be happy for love and not suffer because of it. How do you get rid of that suffering?
- Don't give everything away for the other person, protect yourself.
- Always be yourself, do not allow the other to change you.
- Start a relationship to be happy, not to cry.
- Don't commit to someone you don't know well.
- Respect personal spaces, be independent!
These are just some of the aspects to take into consideration to stop suffering for love. Because, often, we create that fear and it has no foundation. For instance, never allow yourself to depend on your partner. This won't make you happy, just like doing everything together. Respect your friendships, spend time alone with yourself. You don't need to be together all the time because this can damage your relationship in the long run.
Likewise, some people tend to surrender everything for the person they love. Be careful! It's obvious that we want to give everything for someone we love, but are you sure he won't hurt you? When you love someone, immediately, you become vulnerable. If the other person wants to hurt you, he will, and you may not be aware of it. Unintentionally, you give it the power to destroy you.
"We accept to live in unhappiness because we are afraid of change"
-John W. Jacobs-
Loving is good, however, often being in a relationship makes us more unhappy than if we were alone. Consider how happy a relationship can make you or what you need to change to fully enjoy your relationship as a couple. You don't deserve to suffer for love.
Love exists to be lived with passion, with happiness, with affection, with trust ... Pain is not a part of this word. Why strive to suffer for love?
