Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
Pride often hides behind anger. We are talking about people who need to always be right, who cannot tolerate being contradicted or corrected and who are also victims of their own frustration. It is important to point out that pride in turn conceals narcissism, outlining an exhausting personality profile..
It is said that he who is proud never acknowledges his sins. He doesn't do it because he has his nose so close to the mirror that he can't even see himself. We got used to this kind of presence in our life and, without realizing it, we started to consider narcissism and pride as normal. We see them in politics, in company life, we also see them in the new generations.
The people who meet this profile, apparently distant from each other, actually have characteristics in common. Regardless of age, they are people who want to know everything, who have nothing to learn because "they already have a lot of life behind them". They also overshadow the needs of others and often have the emotional maturity of a 6-year-old.
Anyone who deals with such people on a daily basis is also familiar with their frequent outbursts. They are very touchy and proud, so they lose control with little and adopt rancor behaviors, such as stopping talking to those who have contradicted them even on an insignificant aspect.
We also recommend that you read: If you want your children to listen to you, learn how to manage anger
Frequent outbursts: what are they hiding?
Pride is nothing more than a mask, a porcupine costume whose quills act as a defensive barrier to prevent anyone from grasping fears, weaknesses and insecurities. If we tell a proud person to take things slow and be patient, he will not hesitate to hide behind his quills.. It doesn't matter if our comment was in good faith: he'll take it as an affront.
Also read: What are the defense mechanisms we use the most?
The self-esteem of these people is very low. However, the feeling of inferiority often turns into aggression, anger, contempt and bitter frustration. Furthermore, the need to be above others in any situation, circumstance or context shapes this claim of authority for which no one should discredit or oppose them even in the most insignificant things. They consider it an insult.
Pride in these cases is a sophisticated compensation mechanism. The most interesting aspect of these profiles is that they forge their spike armor as early as childhood to hide their insecurities. Over time, this armor becomes a way of reacting to problems or disappointments. The superb personality, in fact, exploits arrogance and aggression to mark the territory, to assert itself.
In reality, they do nothing but increase distances and move in a circle of superficial relationships.
What to do when these people hurl the anger they feel at us?
Frequent anger hides a clear problem of emotional management, low self-esteem and a lack of psychological balance. No one can survive chronic anger, like a lion roaring every two by three. Therefore, if in our circle there is a person who activates this dynamic, we must be clear about one thing: it is not our problem, we are not the cause of his discomfort.
Anyone can get angry, it's a very simple thing. But getting angry with the right person, and in the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way: this is not within anyone's power and it is not easy.
When anger becomes a way of being, nothing grows around it anymore. And if behind the anger there are pride, narcissism and the desire to control everything or always derive a personal benefit, then the best thing to do is to get away from people of this type and not waste time and energy in a fight.
Because pride is not cured with discussions, it is necessary for the proud to look in the mirror, freeing himself from the jaws of the lion and the quills of the porcupine. We all hide frailties, shortcomings, labyrinths of insecurities and, why not, even a still scared inner child who responds with anger when something is wrong..
We also invite you to read: Bringing out your inner child to be happier
Frequent outbursts, believe it or not, are commonplace for many people. This is why it is worth investing time, attention and a good dose of affection in the lives of our children who often accumulate too much frustration and get angry with little.
Let's learn to manage these situations, let's educate them in the right way.