Last update: 06 September, 2020
Probably no one has taught you to deal directly with what causes pain, as you have been taught math in school. Perhaps you have always been told "don't cry", "time heals everything", "it will pass" ... But none of this has helped you, indeed, it has made you feel worse. Today we offer you 5 exercises to deal with what causes pain that you may never have told you about.
Ignoring the pain you feel or pretending not to see it are not valid options. This emotion needs a direct look; even if it hurts, it is necessary to face it to make it become one with us and you don't consume us for years. Let's see how to deal with what causes pain.
Exercises to deal with what causes pain
1. Learn to let go of pain
For the first exercise with which to face what hurts, you will only need a pencil or a small object that does not break. Hold it in your hand and squeeze it as tightly as you can. Now imagine that that object is your emotions, your thoughts or that person who is not good for you.
Gripping that object will be painful at first, then it will hurt your hands. When that happens, drop the object, in which you have visualized everything that hurts you, to the ground. You clung to it, but then you were able to let it go. The same goes for all those emotions or people that cause you so much pain. You can let them go.
When we cling to certain situations, we consider that they are already part of us even if they hurt us, and we are unable to see that we are the ones who choose to suffer. At any time, we can detach.
2. Observe how we talk to ourselves
The second exercise for dealing with what hurts will help you understand how you talk to yourself. You may think you are doing this in a positive way, but you will be surprised when you find that you are addressing more negative thoughts and phrases than you think. To do this exercise well, we will give you an example.
Imagine you are in the gym and someone starts a conversation with you. Eventually, the other person says "I was glad I talked to you" and you don't react right away. You are a little nervous and you answer a little insecure "me too". As you walk to the locker room, you can't stop thinking about how stupid you have been and how ridiculous you are every time you talk to other people.
The important thing is to be aware of these situations and, as soon as you can, stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself what you have thought. Is it positive? Negative? You will notice how you have affected your self-esteem repeatedly, without being aware of it, only by suffering the effects.
3. Anchor yourself to the present
One way to deal with what's hurting you is to anchor yourself in the present. You will certainly know the mindfulness technique. You can focus on the present moment by forgetting the past and the future for a moment, as that is where the pain is.
For a week, choose something you want to focus on. For example, Monday about how you breathe, Tuesday about how your feet are in contact with the floor, Wednesday about how water touches your skin when you wash your hands, wash the dishes or take a shower ... Do the same for the rest of the week. This will help you appreciate the little things and distance yourself a little further from what is making you feel bad.
Holding on to what hurts us prevents us from enjoying the little things, because everything revolves around that pain that we can release at any moment.
4. Imagine the worst situation
This exercise will allow you to subtract drama to the situation that is making you suffer. Many times emotions cloud your vision to the point of making everything seem terrible. For this reason, you have to try to imagine a worse situation.
Imagine that your partner or you are unwell. You have been holding on to a relationship that hurts you and it is difficult for you to end this situation. Sometimes celebrities clearly the decision you have to make, but fear invades you and prevents you from acting. Even if it is difficult, imagine the worst situation.
What's the worst that could happen? Maybe being alone, being different from the rest of your friends because you don't have a partner, not being with someone who will love you… We suggest you write down all these difficult, but not dramatic circumstances. You will realize that many things that you have imagined are not that bad.
For each answer, try to explain why it should cause you pain. In some cases you will get absurd answers, in others you will find that a situation makes you feel bad because you cling to it. Clinging to pain leads you inexorably to suffering. All of these exercises that we have told you about to deal with what is causing pain can help you see more clearly what is happening to you and, therefore, make a decision that makes you feel good.
5. An essential question
The last exercise consists of a single essential question. What would you say to someone who is going through the same situation as you? Imagine that the protagonist is your brother or a friend, he is experiencing the same situation as you. The answer to the question you have asked yourself will be the one you should apply to yourself. This question can help you open your eyes.
We tend to cling to pain, causing it to become suffering. The irony is that we can let it go whenever we want, but to do that we need to be aware of it. How many times have you clung to what was causing you pain? How did you get out?