Last update: February 18, 2022
When a relationship ends, it hurts. It doesn't matter who made the decision, because the story is over. Even though we know it's the right choice, when a love ends, we feel empty. This is why it is important to heal emotions when leaving a relationship.
When they break your heart, the pain is real. Beyond the metaphors on the subject, a study has shown that in these moments the same brain areas are activated that are activated when we experience physical pain. And, like any other pain, this one takes time to heal.
How to cure a broken heart
While time is said to cure all evil, there are some things you can do to recover and improve your life. Even if it seems to you that the end has come, there is always a light that will lead you out of the tunnel. But you have to give yourself the opportunity to get there. You can do it.
1 - Give yourself time
When we are in love, our body segregates oxytocin and dopamine. These hormones not only make us feel good, they are addictive. Furthermore, the levels of serotonin present in our brain are higher, which is why we feel full of energy and optimism.
It is normal for you to feel bad when a relationship ends, because on the one hand your body no longer segregates these hormones, on the other hand it needs time to "detox".
Don't make the mistake of thinking you'll never be well again. However, you have to give yourself time. Everything will go back to normal, be sure. You will learn to live without that person.
2 - Spend your time on activities that require your full attention
Surely your broken heart will freeze you, make you rethink everything you could and didn't do, everything that went wrong, and why. But you cannot live in an unreal world. This will only make you feel worse.
A study revealed that we are happier when we participate in activities that require a large part of our attention. Focusing instead of daydreaming makes us happier. So try doing something that requires 100% of your attention. The fear will pass faster and you will recover better.
3 - Continue your activities and your relationships
When we are in love, it is tempting to let go of everything else, to stop taking care of our life, to focus all our attention on the person we love. When love ends, everything else seems to have ended too.
However, it doesn't have to be that way. Go back to your daily life, continue with the activities you have always done, meet friends or meet new people. You can also try something new and different. Even if you don't feel like it, it will help you get better.
4 - It's not about "the right person for you"
Surely, you will meet people who will tell you, in good faith, that this was not the right person for you. However, you don't care, do you? Whether or not he was the right person for you, losing him hurts, even if you made the decision.
Forget about this. Do you think that being with those you don't have to emotionally destabilizes you, it makes you doubt and negatively affects your self-esteem. Nobody has the right to tell you that you have chosen badly or to judge you for the person you have chosen.
You don't stay with that person anymore because it didn't work: period. Life has other opportunities in store for you, and you can't throw them away because you don't know whether to take advantage of them or not, whether they are ideal for you or not.
5 - Remember that you have already gone through bad times and that you have learned something
Life is full of bad times, unpleasant experiences, and lessons to learn from. If you have overcome other difficulties, you will overcome this too. If you have learned something from past negative experiences, the same will happen with this one.
Don't ask yourself why. Ask yourself what you can learn, what can be changed. Analyze the signs you missed, what you did and what you didn't. Focus on improving and remembering that there were good times too. Not everything was bad, and you have to learn from this too.
6 - Avoid labels and do not enclose your heart
Relationships are not all the same, and not all people behave the same way. You don't think there is a general rule. Learning from past experiences will help you to better analyze people, understand the nature of relationships and generate realistic expectations.