True love does not appear, it is built

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Joe Dispenza
@joedispenza
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True love does not appear, it is built

True love exists, but it doesn't appear by magic. We invite you to discover the formula for a healthy and lasting love.

Last update: 30 March, 2022

We speak of true love as that feeling without artifice, without pretense or romance. An authentic connection capable of lasting over time, giving sincere happiness, a fulfilling daily life in which the couple can grow personally and together. But true love does not appear suddenly, is built day after day.



We should not have as a reference the world of cinema or literature, we are sure that around you is experiencing a similar experience or perhaps even yourself. If so, we are sure that you already know the secret: effort, dedication to build the relationship every day, teamwork among the members in order to contribute equally with their energies.

Because sometimes love alone is not enough. No matter the passion, the attraction or that feeling that blinds and overwhelms us. A healthy relationship needs more to be authentic and lasting. In the following lines we deepen the concept of true love: that which does not hurt and that enriches us.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

-Lao Tzu-

The myth of romantic love

The world of cinema and literature are often the main culprits for which many of us refer to the romantic love seen on the big screen and read in the pages of books. They showed us great stories capable of dazzling us to the point of making us dream, unsustainable situations that we can rarely find in the real world.


So called romantic love is not true love, we have to be clear. And even more, we must be careful not to fall into those dangerous myths that are sometimes enclosed in the ideal of romanticism. We expose them to follow.


Love is forever

This idea is not entirely false, we cannot deny that many couples manage to keep their love alive until the end of their days. Far from thinking that "love must be forever", let us first ask ourselves if we are happy today. And even more, sometimes there are fleeting loves, but so intense that it is worth living them.

Jealousy is a show of love

According to romantic love, jealousy is an expression of affection; without it there is no true and sincere love. The idea of ​​jealousy as a demonstration of love is an absolute risk, a sign of domination and distrust outlines much of toxic relationships.

Love is passion

According to the romantic love approach, a passionless relationship is not true. Vu is the idea that feelings must be taken to the extreme, that sexuality should be at its highest expression and that affection has no middle ground.

However, this is a false myth. A relationship goes through several phases and, although over time the intensity of the first moments is lost, an intimacy and complicity remain that unite the couple even more.

"All passions are positive as long as we control them, and negative when they enslave us."


-Jean-Jacques Rousseau-

The basics of true love

True love needs no artifice nor is it based on that magic that things are okay because "we are meant to be together". Obviously, this does not mean that chance is never largely responsible for the meeting of two people, but leaving aside the aura of magic, what really matters is the day to day, where small gestures build a real relationship.


True love does not appear, it is built with good communication

A communication that makes use of active listening and for which we can speak in a democratic way, reaching agreements, the forces are shared, there are no losers, the balance tends to balance and the dialogues are continuous.


And beware, the discussions are present despite healthy communication, it is normal and necessary to be honest. It is important not to repress or hide anything, otherwise resentment may appear.

Support and recognition

The two members of the couple respect and value each other authentically, recognizing strengths and weaknesses. There is no contempt, irony or humiliation, the consideration is mutual and personal and couple growth is allowed.


True love does not appear, it is built with complicity and sincere affection

It is possible over the years to lose the initial passion, but still be happy. A healthy, happy and satisfied couple knows that the true love is nourished by that daily complicity in which one looks for oneself with one's eyes, we continue to smile and hope for a future together.

Image: "Before Sunset" (2004)

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