One of the most recurring dreams that can cause more distress is when, suddenly, a former partner reappears out of nowhere in a dream. Whether you like it or not, chances are that, sometimes, you dream of your ex partner. Even if you are in a satisfying new relationship in the present, that ex may be sneaking into your dreams.
The next day you will probably ask yourself several questions: Why am I dreaming of my ex after so long? Maybe that old love isn't as outdated as I thought it would be? What does it mean to dream of my ex?
First of all, it is important to keep in mind that dreams are just dreams. We tend to believe that dreams are epiphanies or manifestations of our subconscious desires and innermost impulses, but the truth is that they are usually a blend of various ingredients, from everyday experiences to the complex reworking of our experiences.
Why do I dream of my ex?
1. You still have feelings for your ex
One of the most obvious meanings of dreaming about an ex is that you still have feelings for that person. Perhaps rationally you think the relationship is behind you, but certain feelings may be latent and appear in your sleep. Often, when a person has been important in our life or we have lived many moments with them, it is difficult to eliminate those feelings at the root, so that they reappear when we least expect them. But just because you still have feelings for your ex doesn't mean you want to resume the relationship.
2. The relationship did not have a closure
It is relatively common to dream of an ex when the relationship has not had a proper closure. For example, if the relationship ended abruptly and you felt abandoned, without enough explanation and without time to emotionally process what happened, it is normal for your mind to go back over and over and consider alternative scenarios. In those cases, it's like your mind is blocked. You can't go on, then the ex partner can reappear in your dreams years later. This is because your subconscious is trying to find a closure within the dream and solve the pending problem once and for all to put an end to it.
3. A situation has reactivated the memory
Dreaming of your ex partner is normal if you have recently experienced a situation that has reactivated his memory. You may have seen her profile on social networks, met an old mutual friend, or visited a place that revived memories of shared life. If so, your mind simply goes back to the past and reconfigures it through dreams.
4. You have problems in your current relationship
When things go wrong in the present, it's easy to be tempted to look back for comfort. If you are having problems with your current partner, you are more likely to compare him / her with your ex, so his / her memory activates in your mind and he / she reappears in dreams. Obviously, it is a trap in your mind that makes you think that the past was better, a phenomenon that in psychology is known as declinism or rosy retrospective. However, if you are no longer next to that person, it goes without saying that the relationship was not that idyllic.
5. You miss that moment in your life
Dreaming of an ex doesn't always mean having that person in mind. As we age, it's common to look back, especially those times when everything seemed easier, more fun, or relaxed. If for some reason we don't feel comfortable in the present, those memories can come back with greater intensity, as can the people associated with that time, from friends to former companions, who can reappear in our dreams.
6. You are nostalgic for the emotions experienced
Dreaming of a former partner does not always mean feeling something for that person, it can mean that you miss the emotions you felt with that person. For example, if you are alone and you dream about your ex, it could be because you are missing a relationship. If you feel trapped in a monotonous and boring life, you may be dreaming of your ex because you lack adventure and fun. Basically, that person in a dream embodies the emotions that you are missing in your current life, from passion and affection to improvisation or fun.
7. You lack a quality about your ex
Even if the relationship was cut off, chances are your ex had some positive qualities that were what attracted you and spiced up the relationship at the time. If you are having a particularly difficult time, chances are you will miss your ex if he was a sensitive person who supported you, for example. If so, it is possible that dreaming of your ex is a message from your subconscious telling you that you are missing some characteristics of that person.
Should you worry about dreaming about your ex?
In principle, dreaming about your ex is nothing to worry about. But if these dreams become frequent and start generating negative feelings in you, you should stop and wonder what their meaning could be or what your subconscious is trying to tell you. Chances are you'll find that something is wrong with your life or your current relationship, or that at least it's not working as it should and you have some shortcomings.