We don't need a long journey to find ourselves, just as we don't need to get lost to find ourselves. The person we are and the one we want to be is already within us. We just need to get rid of our fears to shape our best, freer version.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
Instead of going far to find each other, you have to find the strength to reinvent yourself every day. The person we are looking for is already within us and, more importantly, we can allow him to emerge in his best version, the one we choose.
To do this, it is only necessary to get rid of attachments, fears and conventions and gradually embark on a journey of self-discovery, overcoming challenges and transformations.
Few topics in personal growth are as important as self-knowledge and personal fulfillment. One of our vital purposes should be, no more, no less, to know who we really are. However, taking this idea literally can cause confusion.
To begin, the human being is not a stable entity. As living beings, we are in constant change and any progress or variation is intended to promote adaptation and learning.
So, as we all know, the person we were ten years ago is not the same person who leaves the house every day to face the world, to make it his own and make sense of it.
We don't need a trip to Tibet to find ourselves. Each of us finds himself every day in every little thing he does, in every result, in every mistake, in every passion and experience.
To achieve well-being and self-realization you have to learn to reinvent yourself from time to time. Only in this way can we come up with our best version, the one that is in tune with our desires, dreams and needs.
“Analyze yourself and, wherever you are, abandon yourself. This is the best way to go ”.
-Eckhart di Hochheim-
Getting together is fine, but you have to take another step forward: reinvent yourself
Instead of asking yourself who you are, make a small variation: ask yourself what you want from yourself. This way you can clarify your goals to gain momentum and become stronger.
In some ways, much of the psychology of self-help reminds us of the importance of finding each other, but it has prompted us to overlook one small aspect: our self changes and is forced to rebuild itself every now and then.
Every experience, every decision made, every known person, every book read, hobby discovered, country visited, etc., changes us. Each experience leaves a mark on us. It is not necessary to go out to find ourselves, we are all that we touch, see and feel.
However, we have an even more important responsibility to ourselves: achieve personal fulfillment.
To do this, we are forced to change part of our identity as we move through the life cycle. In this way, we not only mature, but allow ourselves to acquire resilience, self-esteem and happiness.
It doesn't matter how old we are: encouraging change and reinventing ourselves is an exercise to be performed when we think it is necessary.
Reinvent yourself, the secret of eternal youth
Dr Ravenna Helson, professor of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley, has carried out a very interesting study on the creative personality. The so-called “Mills Study” analyzed 120 women over 30 years.
The aim was to analyze the changes in character over the course of three decades. The study found that women who are able to reinvent themselves (set new goals, start new businesses, etc.) have gained in terms of health and well-being. In other words, these women managed to "become the people they always wanted to be".
The Mills Study also showed that the age group in which the greatest changes in personality and personal satisfaction occur is that between 50 and 65 years.
It does not matter to find oneself, but to seek the best version of oneself
Viktor Frankl said that life is not made unbearable by circumstances, but by the lack of meaning and purpose. This is the real secret to finding happiness and personal fulfillment: having goals, dreams, desires.
Life is movement, and whether we like it or not, it is the changes that help us survive better so that everything continues to make sense.
We make these variations to leave behind what is no longer needed, what is no longer with us, what becomes stagnant and takes our wings away. A change over time, a reinvention, sometimes even allows us to breathe easier.
However, there is one aspect we need to be clear about. The task of reinventing oneself is not easy, it requires a certain challenge and a lot of courage. According to Eckhart Toll, people cling excessively to who they are or think they are. But liberation is fullness, we have to put aside materialisms, fears and obsessions.
Reinventing oneself is an act of freedom, it is the expression of one's identity, which allows us to go beyond the comfort zone to fulfill ourselves, to achieve well-being. Ask yourself who you want to be and work on that idea, on that purpose.