How to kiss a girl: 5 simple steps

How to kiss a girl: 5 simple steps

We have gathered the tips from experts and professionals to write this guide on how to kiss a girl. Good lesson!

How and why is the kiss important?

Humans have been kissing for a long time, probably since they have lips, and it's no secret why: a good kiss is a blissful experience, like taking a bite of a delicious snack, high-five with the sexiest person. overcome a tough test at the same time that fireworks explode in the distance.

It's physical, it's psychological, it's emotional, heck, in some circumstances, it could even approach spiritual.

A couple kissing on the lips is almost a universal surrogate for the concept of romantic love, and even before we open our lips to someone for the first time, most of us can understand the subtle variations of kissing: a quick kiss. emotionless; a French kiss with the tongue is passionate; long is intimate, short, shy and nervous.

The position is also important: the kiss on the lips is expected; on the cheek it is platonic; the forehead is protective of the parents; on the neck it is seductive and crude. (And then, there are also other places where you can kiss someone...)

But when starting out, lips are the place to go. This puts both partners on the same level; there is no one who gives and who receives; just two people who want to be very close to each other in a special, specific way, enjoying the sensations of desire in a way that only kisses can give.

Does this sound like a good idea? Most likely, you already know that you want to kiss someone. You may have a specific person in mind, or you may have many specific people in mind, or you may have no one in mind.

But if you're nervous about kissing someone for the first time, don't be afraid. We spoke to two different dating experts, as well as several men and women about their experiences before putting together this guide.

It was created explicitly to help you get over the jitters of your first kiss, and with any luck, you'll be a kissing expert in no time.

How to kiss a girl: 5 things to keep in mind

1. Get ready to kiss

“We met online and it was two months before we met in person, and we were wondering if we were going to kiss right away or not, how and when, in detail, and then when we got close, I panicked and there. 'I knocked with the keys'. - Rachel, 27

The first kiss between two people can be a stressful experience, even if both of you are experienced kissers. This is because kissing someone for the first time significantly changes the dynamic between you.

You are expressing in a real, physical way that you are attracted to her, and because attraction is such a powerful and often confusing feeling, the prospect of kissing someone for the first time can often be overwhelming and unnerving.

Since there is a natural desire to practice things a bit before trying them, you may be wondering if there is a way to learn how to kiss. The answer is yes and no. While you can get familiar with the physical sensations of kissing, you can't really practice kissing without another person to kiss, as the emotional component is a key part.

That said, if you want to get comfortable with the physical mechanics of kissing, there are certainly ways to work on it without another person present.

"Practice kissing with a piece of soft, ripe fruit, like a peach or plum," says trainer Connell Barrett. “Start by gently rubbing your lips apart against the skin of the fruit. After a minute or so, gradually increase the pressure and use the tip of your tongue.”

You can also practice kissing the arm or hand, joining the thumb and index finger in the shape of a mouth, where the thumb is the lower lip and the index finger is the upper lip, and experience the kiss of each lip.” turn, bringing your lips together and pressing gently against the “mouth” of your hand.

Dating coach and "Man Whisperer" podcast host Laurel House suggests that being nice is much, much more important than asserting dominance when it comes to kissing, especially in the early days.

"Think about how you lick an ice cream cone," he says. "Your tongue is soft and moves slowly and sensually."

While you may not use your tongue right away (it's worth waiting until you're both comfortable with kissing just on the lips), it's good to keep the ice cream cone analogy in mind. You're not trying to destroy or gobble up your ice cream, you're trying to savor it slowly with a gentle touch that won't cause it to fall out of the cone or cause brain freeze.

It's also important not to get too nervous about kissing. In particular, if the person you're about to kiss is also a newbie or relatively inexperienced, it's okay if it takes a few tries (or more!) to find a kissing style that works for both of you.

"If you weren't a good kisser at first, don't give up because it gets better with time and practice," says House. "Everyone has their own style of kissing, and their styles can mix over time."

The most important thing about a good kiss is that both of you want to kiss. Everything else may be missing, but if the emotional component is right, it doesn't matter. On the other hand, if you do everything right, but you or the other person isn't particularly interested, it's likely to be an unpleasant experience at best.

2. When to kiss and how to initiate a kiss

“My first kiss was in a subway station a few weeks before my 16th birthday. I was saying goodbye to my girlfriend, and when the train came I asked her: 'Kiss?' and she said, 'OK'. So it was. Consent is important!” -Ian, 30

As good as a kiss can be, the feeling of being rejected is just as powerful, but in a bad way, not a good way.

It may seem like an overwhelming failure; as if he was unattractive or generally worthless. Sure, there are plenty of reasons why someone might say no to a kiss, but in the moment it can be hard not to feel extremely disappointed.

"The biggest challenge guys face in a kiss is knowing when it's the right time to make the first move," says Barrett.

How do you know if the person you want to kiss wants to kiss you back? How can you be sure that you will receive a kiss and not a rejection? Well, it's complicated. Without the ability to read minds, you are left with two possible ways to find out: either the other person tells you, or you infer it based on the signals the other person is sending you.

“Unfortunately, the ones in front of you won't have a card that says 'Kiss me!'” says Barrett. "So make an effort to read the other person's body language to see if she's ready to kiss and be kissed." Start with the eyes: look for a deep and steady gaze. It's a good sign if she casually touched your arm, knee, or thigh and leaned her body against yours."

In addition to touching yourself, Laurel points out that touching yourself can also be a sign that you're ready to be kissed.

"If you notice that he keeps looking at your lips, starts playing with his hair or touches his face, these are all signs that whoever is in front of you is ready to be kissed," he says.

"No matter how many signs you get, it usually takes a lot of courage to give a first kiss," says Barrett. “Assuming you feel good about each other, just take courage, then slowly, confidently, move closer. It may help to take a moment to pause: a two or three second silence with continuous eye contact. It's a good time to bend down and put your lips on hers."

However, if the right time never comes, don't force it. It's better to ask if the other person wants to be kissed rather than kissed out of the blue, which could confuse (at best) or deeply traumatize (at worst) the other person, and technically it could amount to a sexual assault, depending on how. those in front of you felt about the experience.

3. How to kiss and how not to kiss: what to do and what not to do

“I bumped teeth the first time I kissed someone when I was 15. But I kindly asked for a second chance, and it went well.” - Bryan, 35

Still not sure how to get your kiss on without making horrible mistakes? The experts we spoke with allowed us to establish some guidelines that will help you avoid the most common mistakes.

To do: check your breath

A great kiss can be tragically ruined, or even prevented, if you have bad breath.

If your breath smells good, your kisses will not only be a common sense experience, but will also make you feel safe and carefree. If you think you might be kissing someone, say, for example, on a date, it's a good idea to properly prepare your mouth.

"Brush your teeth and brush your tongue," advises Barrett. "The tongue's large surface area and countless crevices make it the perfect home for odor-causing bacteria." Give your tongue a good pre-date brushing,” she suggests, “or consider purchasing a tongue scraper, which may be more effective.”

It's also a good idea to carry something to freshen your breath around the kiss, especially if you eat beforehand or if the moment of the first kiss drags on for hours after brushing your teeth.

"It's okay and not cheesy to use a breath mint," advises Laurel House. "Gum is less fit for purpose, unless you can spit it out right before you kiss."

To avoid: Exaggerate the tongue

"Keep your tongue in the holster at first," says Barrett. “A man who uses all his tongue is as unpleasant as a man who uses all his hands. He starts slowly and gently and lets her decide if he is ready to use his tongue. If he does, yes, he starts to 'speak French'."

House agrees that a moderate approach to language is the ideal option. Once you get the green light, Laurel says, "Make sure you soften your tongue."

“You don't want to stick it with your tongue. You are not a lizard. You don't even want to stick your tongue in and out, in and out. It's more of a dance."

To Avoid: Taking cues from porn

To begin with, although many of the kisses you have seen in your life also appear in porn, the world of xxx videos is not a good place to get an idea of ​​how to kiss. The porn actors are not trying to recreate a romantic first kiss, but rather tease paying customers.

"Porn isn't the best example when it comes to how to kiss, because it tends to be extreme and inappropriate," says Laurel House.

If you really think that watching a video of people kissing can help you get an idea of ​​how to do it, kissing in romantic movies is more likely to be close to what you're looking for.

To do: listen to your partner kissing you

Either way, the best approach is to ask the person you're kissing what they like, if not first, then at least initially, and certainly before trying anything new or extreme. It's good to want to experiment, but you can't know for sure how the other person will feel if you don't talk about it.

"Each person likes something different, so just because one person likes something, or you read a book about someone who likes something, it doesn't mean it will be the same for someone else," House warns. .

So if you decide to ignore everything else in this article, at least pay attention to this aspect and take into account the requests and wishes of the other person when kissing.

4. How to be a good kisser: advanced kissing techniques

“My first really hard kiss that I remember was at an amusement park in 29th grade. He was really tall and lanky, a jujube, but he was an amazing kisser." - Jennifer, XNUMX

Ok, at this point in the article you understand the basics. Congratulations! But what about the next step? What separates an amazing kisser from a simply competent one?

In a way, it's going to be more of a chemistry thing with the person you're kissing. Are they both in the same kissing dynamic? Do you like long or slow kisses, a lot of tongue or not, a lot or a little sleight of hand?

That said, a really good kisser will be flexible and able to adapt to their partner's preferences, as well as have a few tricks up their sleeve. Here are some advanced techniques that the average guy might not know about:

How to ask for a kiss without worries

It's always best to ask before trying to do something new or unexpected to someone's body, and kissing is no exception. However, asking can be embarrassing, and if you're worried about ruining the moment, Barrett suggests you try this approach:

“To test the waters, make deep eye contact with your date, smile mischievously, and say, 'Close your eyes.' At this point, he most likely knows where you want to go. If she is ready, he will close his eyes. It's an easy way to get the green light without asking, 'Can I kiss you?'”

"If she doesn't close her eyes, wait another chance," he suggests, or if she asks why, admit that you want to kiss her. Framing it as a wish on her part allows him to consider what she wants without being pressured to answer yes or no right away.

Try different techniques

In the end, the kisses are nothing more than shadows of two people touching lips. However, that doesn't mean you can't be creative.

"Techniques like tongue sucking, licking the inside of your upper lip, and lip biting can be fun, but they may be better during intense sex than everyday kissing," says Laurel House. In any case, she notes, "It's okay to ask him what he likes and what he wants most."

Similarly, if your kissing partner suggests something new, you can try giving it a try; not everything you feel new has to come from you.

Stop & Start

As enjoyable as kissing can be right now, realistically doing the same thing over and over again can get repetitive and even boring after a while. A good solution to this problem is to work small breaks into a make-out session.

"You could spend a lot of time with your tongue in your mouth, then you could have a few closed-lip kissing sessions, and then go back to tongue kissing for a few seconds or even minutes if everything goes really well." says Casa Laurel. "Pull back a few times to look at her, then lean back in for another kiss."

Taking a little break is also a great way to check in with your partner that you are still having fun.

"If he gives you a quick, short kiss," says House, there's a good chance he "doesn't want to kiss you anymore." If in doubt, let your partner take the lead for a change, or ask!

5. Try different kissing positions

“We were listening to Avril Lavigne in my room in sixth grade. She made the first move, but I was definitely ready.” - Essie, 28

While many kisses are imagined or acted out with both partners standing facing each other, when it comes to kissing positions, one is really limited only by one's imagination (and the space one is in and the other's physical abilities).

You can kiss with your parallel bodies; lie on top of each other; either lying next to each other on a bed, or with one of you hanging upside down; one or both may be seated; you can kiss if your partner is taller or go down if your partner is shorter; if you're really ambitious, you can kiss while walking side by side at a brisk pace. If you and your partner are open to trying it, you can experiment and see which kissing positions you like best.

One technique that is powerful when it comes to what to do with their bodies is to use their hands. This doesn't necessarily mean letting it roam where you want; After all, your kissing partner may not be ready for intense caresses, where you caress their erogenous zones, but using your hands can increase the intensity and intimacy of a person. kiss. .

And, as Laurel House points out, there are plenty of ways to do this without touching parts of the body that aren't quite ready to be touched yet.

“You can put your hand in her hair as you kiss her, hold the back of her head, put your hand on her back, hold her face, with your hand on her cheeks. There are so many styles to play and practice."

Depending on how experienced you are, kissing can seem like the most exciting thing in the world, or something you're almost bored with. But a good kiss, or make-out session, between two people who truly love each other can be an incredibly pleasurable experience.

"Kissing can be even sexier and more intimate than sex if done right," says House. “It is an essential bond. A goodbye kiss and a goodbye kiss. Once you start kissing, you'll likely discover a greater emotional connection."

How to kiss a girl: let's recap

  1. Practice kissing by experimenting with the mechanics of lips and tongue with a fruit, watching romantic movies.
  2. Wait for a few seconds pause (the right moment!), move closer keeping eye contact and start the kiss.
  3. Brush your teeth and tongue well before a date, use some mints.
  4. Ask your partner what their preferences are.
  5. Once you are sure, experiment (always respecting the preferences of the girl in front of you)

For more love tips and tricks:

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Love and Sexuality Health and Psychology

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