The lives of all of us have a turning point. The one in which fate tests us by bringing out our strengths. From that moment on there will be no headwind that can hold, we will go on despite the fear and difficulties.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
According to the writer Dorothy Parker, only those who do not know stormy times get bored in quiet moments. For some reason, a part of us always has to face the storm, those days when fate takes us out of balance to test ourselves. And it is in this stage of ours complex existential journey that we discover our strengths.
Until then, it could be said that we just improvise. Well, this topic is as interesting as it is revealing. A few years ago, the American polling agency Gallup wanted to probe the most common strengths of the population.
Later, psychologists Nick Epley and David Dunning highlighted an important aspect in this regard. Most of us act as an inexperienced judge of our own worth. There are those who overestimate it and those who underestimate it.
The best way to know your strengths, however, is to turn the mirror and see what others think. Another way is to test yourself. There always comes a time when our value emerges, our strengths.
There always comes a time when we discover our strengths
In 2004 Martin Seligman and Chris Peterson published a book called Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. This work is in antithesis with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and essentially seeks to shed light on the talents, abilities and values ​​of each person.
The work immediately aroused perplexity in a part of the scientific community. Kindness, generosity or joy, defined as strengths, for many experts fall more in the field of moral virtues than in that of cognitive skills.
Perhaps also for this reason, in 2014 Laura King and Louis Trent of the University of California defined an approach that sets aside the term “virtue” to speak of “strengths of the human personality”.
This approach intends to seek those values ​​that allow people to better adapt to the changes and challenges of life. An emotional and psychological fabric that plays an important role in well-being, better decision-making and even the ability to reach full human potential. Let's see what it consists of.
When we discover our strengths, we better manage the quiet moments and adversity
When something unexpected happens to us like losing a job, ending a relationship, etc. we are put to the test, we suffer, we get stuck and, of course, we feel bad. When we overcome them, however, that's where we discover our strengths.
We realize that resources that we never even imagined live within us. We learn to manage emotions, to deal with pain, we find hope and even motivation. These teachings remain in us and give us a broader view of life.
This is how we begin to extricate ourselves better in both calm and difficult moments. It happens because we are clear about our goals, we know what we want and our personal compass is well calibrated.
We all have strengths waiting to blossom
Many of us spend our entire life in their comfort zone. In that kind of stability where everything is under control, predictable and even taken for granted. Until, suddenly, something cracks and, in a short time, a part of our safety zone begins to crumble until it collapses. And this is where something happens, we react and we realize we have strengths.
When we discover our strengths, we realize that we are more resilient than we thought, more creative, proactive and confident.
While living a situation or experience that leads us to react in the right way, however, this does not necessarily happen again. In other words, today we may have done well in the face of a mistake made at work or a relationship problem.
But it is equally possible that in the face of a more complicated situation we will not act as correctly. What does it mean? It means that strengths, once discovered, must be cultivated.
The more we use them, the more they can develop to be applied to larger areas of our life. If we have been good at solving a problem at work, this same ability should also be applied to other fields of our existence.
Emotions, thought and action: three essential elements of strengths
When we discover our strengths, our reality changes. But for this to happen, three forces must align, three extraordinary processes that lead us to success, achieving our goals and overcoming our fears, beyond adversity. Let's talk about emotions, thought and action.
Every strength arises from an emotion, the one that leads us to overcome ourselves, to overcome our fears to find confidence. Similarly, our thoughts nurtured by motivation and self-confidence increase our strengths. And this is how we manage to act without getting stuck in fear and insecurity.
