Emotional rebirth, the art of rising from the abyss

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Robert Maurer
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Emotional rebirth, the art of rising from the abyss

Emotional rebirth occurs in various circumstances, but especially when we are victims of a negative emotional state and we need to rebuild our life.

Last update: October 12, 2021

There are times when we fall into a deep abyss, we find ourselves in a dead end and we don't know what to do. Although at that moment we come to think that all is lost, eventually we have the opportunity to embrace our pain and initiate an emotional rebirth.



It is not a quick or easy path. We will need a little exercise of faith and effort - the results will come after we have made important decisions and started to commit. We talk about it in this article.

How could you be reborn without first being reduced to ashes?

-Friedrich Nietzsche-

What is emotional rebirth?

To understand the concept of emotional rebirth, it is inevitable to make an analogy with the phoenix, which is reborn from its own ashes.

It is a strong emotional shift, in which the person regenerates their emotional space after something has compromised it. So, it's like starting a new relationship with your emotions.

Like the phoenix, a person takes flight after an event that has caused him great pain and suffering. So, she looks her anguish in the face and courageously goes in other directions.

Emotional rebirth is about getting out of a state that causes suffering, find oneself, manage emotions, thoughts and behaviors in a different way, flourish, have different motivations, reach goals, see things in another perspective and find a way out when all seems lost.


The stages of emotional rebirth

There are several ways, all intelligent, to manage suffering. It is not a question of making a "clean slate", but of overcoming adversity by using the resources we have available. Sometimes it's not that easy to know which ones they are, so one of the first steps will be identifying them.


Navigate the deepest abyss

It consists of using self-knowledge. This involves being thoughtful, patient, and loving with ourselves. Step by step we can find out what happens to us: in this way it will be easier to solve.

Furthermore, to know ourselves we can explore what we want to be, what we are in this moment, how far we want to go, how we want to do it. Knowing these things will help us get an idea of ​​ourselves and follow what we really want.

Furthermore, we can profit from recognizing our strengths and major flaws. So, we can use this information to deal with difficult times and be emotionally reborn.

On the one hand, knowing where we have failed helps us avoid repeating the same mistakes; and on the other hand, knowing our resources will help us understand what to use when problems arise.

Learning in emotional rebirth

After the storm comes calm, the saying goes. While it doesn't happen by magic, it can happen. It consists of the tranquility that arises after facing a painful situation. One of the most useful tools for this is learning because:

  • It hints at what to do next time.
  • Helps heal.
  • Learning from what we haven't done prepares us to know our limits.
  • It induces to ask for help.
  • It takes you out of the comfort zone.
  • It allows you to see things from different perspectives.
  • Helps to gain greater awareness.

Learning to fall and stand up will help us get out of situations that cause great distress. We will gain additional knowledge to cope with future situations: after all, there will always be difficulties in life.


Learning to say "goodbye" is essential for emotional rebirth

It means not obsessing over what has already happened or what we could have done. To do this, you need to take advantage of the present moment. It consists in enhancing the "here and now". Getting stuck in the past leads us to continue to suffer.


So we have to learn to let go, both things and people. But it's also important not to rush into the future, as it can cause anxiety. Sometimes it will be difficult for us, but if we anticipate the facts, we will not get an emotional rebirth.

Knowing how to say goodbye does not mean forgetting what caused us so much suffering. It means embracing our anxieties, learning from them and getting the best of ourselves to deal with what is coming.

Beyond that, it is important to do this because if we put more and more weight on our shoulders, we will end up wearing ourselves out. Letting go of the pain does not mean that it was not important, it means making our life healthier, taking advantage of it as learning and to be able to flourish again.

Resilience to cope with pain

It is a skill that many have and that others of us can learn to develop. It means adapting positively to adverse situations. How?

  • Be optimistic.
  • Learn from the situation.
  • Focus on your own motivations.
  • Finding a purpose.
  • Trust in your strengths and abilities.
  • Accept, because it is necessary to move forward.

Resilience makes adversity make us stronger, it helps us turn pain into something useful. There are several ways, for example, through exercise, art, companionship, etc..


An article from the Uriarte Arciniega of the University of the Basque Country defines resilience as a path towards optimism and the ability to constantly adapt and improve oneself.

Find a guide

We can count on various resources that can help us in difficult times, but there are times when we need someone. On the contrary, we often close in on ourselves, because we are ashamed to ask for help or because we want to deal with the pain alone.


Asking for help is not a bad thing. We can turn to the closest and most understanding people, to tell them what anguishes us so much and to find guidance or simply to help us let ourselves go. We could also turn to a professional, because we prefer the opinion of an expert or because we do not know who to contact.

This is another path to emotional rebirth, which directs us into the light thanks to the wonderful guidance of someone we trust. We have to be brave to show what we have inside, but it will be worth knowing that we have someone who will help us get up from the big falls.

Benefits of emotional rebirth

Every emotional rebirth implies having made sense of suffering, which becomes part of our history without causing further pain. Let's see what are the advantages of this rebirth:

  • Greater understanding of situations.
  • Learn to manage your feelings.
  • Acquiring resilience.
  • See things from another perspective.
  • Acceptance.
  • Greater self-esteem.
  • Capacity for change.
  • Live in the present moment.
  • Greater awareness.
  • Increase self-knowledge.

This does not mean that it is always possible to transform suffering into joy. Other emotions may arise, which we will gradually identify if we can release the tension.

Each emotion is important and will be part of our experience. It is a metamorphosis: we transform suffering into a different emotional state that serves as a starting point.

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