Your best friend is you: Be happy and successful

Who I am
Louise Hay

Author and references

Loving yourself is the best way to
improve their own mental health
and obtain the results that are intended. Or at least that's what one says
study developed by the University of Texas.

It must be said that being indulgent towards oneself
themselves is a very different concept from that ofesteem. Self-esteem indicates the feelings we have towards us
ourselves while being indulgent with ourselves indicates the possibility of
forgive us our own mistakes by accepting our opinions and behaviors. Being indulgent with ourselves
it means treating us with the kindness, tenderness and understanding with which
we would treat a close friend. It is not the same as having compassion for
of oneself, since this concept rather applies to people who try
shame, who avoid criticism and who do not want to internalize anyone
negative concept relating to one's own person. In short, be indulgent with us
themselves simply means being aware of our mistakes but still,
love and treat us with respect and kindness. The study in question showed that
this kind of approach helps us to deal with crises. For example, it is
found that people who are self-indulgent after a
divorce, they were able to adapt more quickly to their new conditions
life with greater success and without their self-esteem coming from it
damaged. But the most interesting aspect is that, al
contrary to popular belief which states that to reach ours
goals we have to treat ourselves harshly, it is proven that to be lenient
towards ourselves it does not limit and much less negatively affects ours
objectives but quite the opposite. Also, just in case we fail
in our intent, we will not be damaged too much. How to develop self-indulgence? Fortunately, there are many forms for
develop indulgence towards ourselves, from meditation to more tricks
simple as for example: putting your hand on your heart to feel the
clap or cross your arms to give us a symbolic hug. Obviously,
these tricks will not make us indulgent with ourselves for life but
they will definitely make us feel better for a few minutes. A recent study carried out by the University
of California, showed that to enhance self-indulgence,
a good strategy is to be tolerant of others. During the experiment
some of the volunteers were asked to play the role of tutor towards
others, guiding the latter through various activities but without making criticisms
negative or reproaches. After these activities, those who implemented
as tutors they had to complete a questionnaire in which they assessed how much
they were indulgent with themselves. The result left no doubt, those who
they had been more tolerant and lovable with their companions they were even more
indulgent with themselves but at the same time, they also felt more motivated
to change and improve their own emotional or intellectual gaps. Another way to enhance indulgence
towards oneself consists in imagining ourselves as small children. When we
we scold excessively or chastise ourselves for no reason, we should imagine
saying these grudging words to a small child, and we should think so
the consequences this would have in his future life.
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