A farmer had a lot of wood to cut, but he couldn't find his ax. He ran back and forth through his yard, scoured his property inch by inch, but not even the shadow of his ax. No doubt someone had stolen it! A brand new ax he had bought with his last savings! Anger promptly blinded him and dyed all his thoughts black. Then he saw his neighbor. It seemed to him that his way of walking was typical of someone who does not have a clear conscience. His face betrayed the typical expression of the guilty in front of the victim. His greeting was imbued with the malice of thieves. And when he opened his mouth to talk about the weather, his voice was that of a thief he had just stolen! Unable to restrain himself, the peasant strode across the porch with the intention of going to sing four to that thief who dared to come and mock him. But his feet got caught in a tangle of deadwood by the side of the road. He stumbled blatantly bumping his nose against the handle of his ax, which had probably fallen off his wagon the day before Just like this farmer, the stories we construct in our minds often play tricks on us, making us imagine things that don't exist. leading us to blame others or generate intentions we cannot control. Drawing hasty conclusions is of no use to anyone.
The rough waters cloud the seabed
When we are victims of very intense emotions,
like anger or frustration, we fail to see things clearly. We are unable to emotionally move away from the problem to evaluate what is happening from a more rational point of view. Our emotions become a veil through which we judge what happens. This leads us to make bad or hasty decisions, which we later regret - in fact, these emotions are like a rough sea. When the waves are too strong they drag everything they encounter, prevent us from seeing the bottom and, of course, do not show our reflection. This means that we begin to act in "reaction mode" and cannot even understand why we behave this way. We fail to realize that our attitude and thoughts are not determined solely by the situation, but, above all, by our reaction to what happens, at which point we stop analyzing what is happening and begin to react to the facts we are creating in the our mind, like the farmer of history. Thus, we misinterpret any gesture or word, because we understand them as a confirmation of our beliefs. Obviously, losing contact with reality in this way is neither positive nor adaptive.
Equanimity: The most useful tool for dealing with life
To cope with certain situations it is imperative to let the sea of our emotions calm down, only then will we be able to clearly see the bottom and understand what is the best solution. But it would be even better to prevent this sea from becoming agitated. In this regard, an excellent tool to use is equanimity.Using equanimity is like using the brakes to avoid going out of the curve and adjusting the speed of our mind to the conditions of the road of life. But it doesn't mean putting the handbrake to stand still as life goes by.
How to develop equanimity?Equanimity
above all it means harmony. Being equanimous does not mean being disinterested or adopting a passive attitude, but only offering a proportionate response to stimuli, always trying to maintain psychological balance. A sober person is aware of the fact that everything changes and therefore does not cling to things, but neither does he reject them, he simply accepts them. Therefore, to develop equanimity it is essential to embrace the concept of change and develop a more open attitude that allow to accept what happens. This quality will allow you not to suffer or get angry unnecessarily, it will allow you to react less intensely to negative events, so that you can experience positive things more intensely.