Wounds of the soul that heal but leave scars

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Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
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Wounds of the soul that heal but leave scars

Last update: December 14, 2015

From the moment of our birth until today, a huge amount of things have happened. Some good, some not so good. We carry on our shoulders a wealth of experiences which, however strongly we wish to disappear, remains there.

When we want to relive a moment that made us happy, we “rummage” through our luggage, and in order not to dwell on the memories that caused us pain, we try to use selective amnesia. Each of us should be proud of our wealth of experience, even if sometimes there are facts that we never wanted to take on.



That cargo holds more about us than any book and any opinion. It guards the demons we carry from childhood and the memories of the times they hurt us. The times when we felt like we were in the right place and the times when we felt completely disoriented. It is the baggage of our life, of our most intimate experiences.

Past experiences determine who we are now, including times when we feel happiness and when we feel deeply unlucky. It is in those moments of dejection that the wounds inflicted on our person reopen.

Maybe we were convinced they were just scars, yet sometimes they come back to burn. Their purpose is to get our attention, perhaps because that pain is about to reappear in our life.

This is how each of us has numerous wounds in the process of healing, but which will never cease to heal, to warn us of impending pain when someone or something teases them again. Here are some of these injuries.



The humiliation

We feel humiliated when someone attacks our dignity as a person. There are several ways to denigrate us, both privately and publicly, which is perhaps the worst case.

The consequences of feeling humiliated directly affect our self-esteem, trust in others, and hope for what we do and expect from the world. When someone humiliates us, we feel that something that belonged to us has been torn from us, and that they did it in the cruellest way possible.

The humiliation can be addressed to the physical appearance, the economic level, the sex, the race, the intellectual level, the diseases ... It can be a single attack or a series of mortifying barbs that have been going on for some time. It is one of the most difficult situations to overcome due to the psychological implications that are generated in us.

 

“Many sorrows could be avoided if those who brag about their satire kept in mind that each of us, however ignorant we may be, tends to take ourselves very seriously. If there are those who are able to bear a frank and loyal contradiction, no one forgives being ridiculed. "


-Santiago Ramon y Cajal-

The delusion

When a person disappoints us, all the hopes and expectations we had deposited in them and in our relationship are lost. We feel a mixture of amazement, anger, surprise and pain. It can happen with someone from our family, a childhood friend, a co-worker or simply someone we considered a good person unable to betray certain principles, both towards us and those of the world in general.


Disappointment can lead us to feel frustration and even depression, and our ability to trust others will no longer be what it used to be.

 

"People's best successes come after their biggest disappointments"

-Henry Ward Beecher-

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