Last update: July 18, 2016
It is a more frequent situation than we think. There are many people who, for example, after having suffered a personal loss, are unable to cry, to vent their pain with tears, as would be normal. Crying is part of mourning and is a fundamental part of overcoming misfortunes and traumas. A physiological relief with which to relieve tension and stress.
It is usually said that those who are unable to cry have some trouble managing their emotions. The truth is that we cannot establish this principle as definitive, it is only part of the many reasons for this so common fact.
This is not a problem, but part of the process, because the tears, or the release, will come sooner or later, perhaps later than usual, but it will happen. And when it happens, we feel so much better.
The physiological need to cry
Sometimes there may be some physical problem. We know that the need to cry is part of the emotional release, as well as being a way to catalyze stress and tension.
However, there are people who are unable to do so due to illness. An autoimmune disease. They do not repress their feelings, absolutely, it is a physiological problem with an autoimmune basis.
An autoimmune disease in which there is dryness of the tear ducts, making it almost impossible to produce tears. A reality known as "Sjögren's Syndrome".
Discarding the possibility of this disease, most people have sometimes experienced this situation, that of not being able to cry. A reality that can occur as a result of various aspects; let's see them together:
- Tears as part of a process
It must be understood that not all people are the same nor do they handle problems in the same way. Furthermore, each situation is unique and we react differently. We can mourn with normalcy in the face of the loss of a loved one, but be unable to burst into tears when, for example, we are left by our partner.
How is it possible? It all depends on how the problem is interpreted. We accept the loss of the family member, we know we will never see him again, we feel pain and we translate it into tears.
However, in the face of abandonment or even betrayal, it is possible to manage the experience in another way. First we can feel misunderstanding, then we can feed hope that the person will come back or repent. Later, anger can emerge.
Stages in which the tears have not yet emerged because they are not yet necessary. However, at a later time, discouragement and sadness will appear. It is at this time that comes crying and the need to get vent. What conclusion do we draw from this? That tears, the need to cry has a cycle.
If we feel anxiety and uncertainty and are still not rational about the situation, it is possible that the tears will not come. However, this will depend on each individual's personality. More sensitive personalities use crying as an adequate relief mechanism. People with greater need for self-control or to rationally analyze every aspect of life take longer to cry.
-Tears and their social connotation
Are tears a sign of weakness, of personal fragility? In no way. We are no longer weak or more vulnerable because we cry. Sometimes tears are as necessary as breathing and are an indispensable part of any bereavement. We have to cry to feel better.
Sometimes, however, our education, our personal and social context can teach us that it is best to accept the situation in silence. Don't show weakness, look strong. A mistake that can cause serious health problems in the long run. Unhealed wounds that can turn into internal injuries.
It's not worth it. Tears and the need to cry are part of our personality, there are those who will show a certain ease in letting them flow and others will simply find it more difficult.
Crying is part of a cycle in which self-recognition is essential, knowing how to identify the emotions we feel within us, knowing how to listen to each other. Maybe tears don't come when we need them most and we feel weird. With all that's happening to me, how is it that I can't cry?
Don't worry, they will arrive when they should. At the most unexpected moment, when you relax, when you are most aware of the situation and accept it. Only then will the tears offer you true relief.
