When impulsiveness destroys us

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Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
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When impulsiveness destroys us

Last update: Augusts 05, 2015

What are the positives of being impulsive? It seems that there are not many, quite the opposite. Impulsiveness hurts us and those around us. The worst thing is that it is something unconscious that we regret later, but without being able to go back in time to change what we have said or done.

This is why it is important to learn to master impulses and to think a little more before acting.



If as soon as someone tells you something, you react immediately and respond badly; if they ask you a question and answer the first thing that comes to mind; if you are the first to start a discussion; if when things go wrong, you throw everything in your hands to the ground or start screaming or throwing tantrums like children, maybe you have an impulsiveness problem.

Don't worry, there is a solution to everything in life (except death, as many proverbs say). First of all, it is good to understand that being impulsive from time to time is not wrong because this attitude could help you not to be very shy or withdrawn, to get what you want or to make you listen.. However, the problem arises when impulsivity is the rule and not the exception.

There are different types of impulsive or compulsive people. The latter, for example, are those that buy even if there is no need or accumulate things and objects in the house. We will not talk about compulsive people in this article, but about other ways of channeling and reacting to emotions. That is, when we use anger, anger, nervousness or crying if something does not go as we wanted or hoped for or if we do not know how to find the solution to a problem.



The way we express ourselves conveys many things. We don't always convey the right thing with our words or attitudes. We may not have the intention of annoying or hurting others, but in the end we do it anyway.

If you too throw the stone at the first stimulus, if you answer before analyzing the situation well, if your initial reaction is to get angry or to argue, if you are blinded by anger and just want to hurt the other, take revenge or scream, then be careful because impulsiveness could benefit you from a bad joke.

You don't have to use excuses: “I'm stressed”, “I did it without thinking”, “I have a lot of problems”, “the economic crisis is causing me problems”, “I am impulsive by nature”, “I have my period”, etc. Face the situation and accept that you have an impulsiveness problem. This is the first step.

Then, the time comes to act and not to react. This means that, if faced with a not exactly positive stimulus, your first reaction is to fight back, then it is better if you wait. The technique of counting to ten (or up to twenty, thirty, one hundred ...) or breathing deeply may be useful. In other words, anything that prevents you from responding hastily or shouting as soon as the other person finishes speaking is helpful.

What do you need this for? Not to say the first thing that comes to your mind and that is often not the right thing or even the safest thing.


Sometimes, stopping for a few seconds doesn't mean you can't continue the conversation or don't understand something, it just means taking some time to process the information. If you give your mind a lot of credit and react faster than light, you don't always do or say the right thing.


When you can put things into perspective, everything will be fine. When you take the time to analyze other people's words and your own, you can achieve better results. When you prevent the urge from coming out of your mouth or body, you put yourself in front of the other in another way. When you think before you speak or measure your words, then you can come up with a good compromise.


Finally, we leave you with this thought to make you think:

Always think about what you will do before taking action. Do not allow impulsiveness to control you otherwise your path will be filled with darkness.

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