What is freedom? Being able to do whatever you want, or being able to choose what you want to do? It sounds like a play on words.
If I told you that are you completely free, or free, to live the life you want?
Maybe you don't believe it, so I'll show you:
- What is freedom: we all seem free, but are we really free?
- How to be free even in a prison.
- Actually you don't want freedom, it scares you!
- Being free does not mean being God.
- Practical (and free) exercises to train your freedom.
As you can see there is so much to say and see together.
Before starting I suggest you answer the questions in my test: it serves a measure the freedom of your mind
A few questions that will help you measure how aware you are today, how free and strong your mind is.
We are free? That's what freedom is
When do you think you are free, or free?
There are almost certainly situations in which you feel you have freedom and others in which you feel a prisoner, or a prisoner.
When the conditioning of our society, of culture, of tradition prevent you from living the life you want.
A few examples? Feel you have freedom:
- If you can dress as you like.
- If you can say what you think is right.
- If you can do the job you like best.
- If you can buy the things that look best to you.
- If you can travel the world in the way you think is most interesting.
- If you can do the fun things that make you feel good.
Apparently today we seem all very free indeed.
We can choose how to dress, where to live, which religion to profess, which party to vote for, which team to support, who to attend, which school to choose.
This it really is freedom? I'll ask you a few questions:
- You can choose how to dress, and it is a coincidence that you dress like everyone else?
- You can choose which religion to follow, and it is a coincidence that it's that of your parents or your friends?
- You can choose what to eat, and it just so happens that it's the same choice as your friends?
- You can choose to say what you want, and it is a coincidence that everyone else says so, or almost?
It is not that something is imposed on us, but we tend to choose what others choose.
Are we free by doing this?
We usually focus our attention on the things we can "do".
I think you measure your freedom too about the results you can get, or about the concrete things you can accomplish.
But the questions above make me doubt that this is not enough.
Sure, maybe you can choose which religion to profess or whether or not to believe in anything, but almost certainly this will depend from your family, friends or the environment you hang out with.
Is it your choice or is it the choice of those around you, and you made it yours?
What is freedom: do or choose
Are you a selfish person?
Answer the 7 questions in my selfishness test.It will allow you to understand if (and to what extent) you are a selfish person.
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Can you be free in a Nazi concentration camp?
This is the answer everyone would give point blank.
Yet I have read of a man, perhaps a fool then, who says that one can be freer from inmates than from jailers.
Absurd, someone said that a Jew could be freer than the German soldier who could decide to kill him.
If we published such a statement in a newspaper, it would be a scandal and the journalist would be overwhelmed with insults and insults.
I'll tell you the name of whoever said such a thing: Viktor Frankl.
If it wasn't himself a prisoner of a Nazi concentration camp, his claims would be absurd.
But he lived there in the concentration camp.
He talks about freedom as possibility to choose our attitude in every situation.
His captors could certainly control his body, but not his mind.
They could humiliate and oppress him, but they did not control his thoughts.
He was free.
Probably more than a person who lives today being able to do what he wants.
There is a box on a table.
A big man threatens to punch you if you touch her.
Are you free, or free, to take the box?
The most obvious answer seems "no", but it is also wrong.
Think about it: you can not take the box?
Of course you can!
If you do, you might get punched, that's right, but that doesn't stop you to take the box anyway.
you can choose.
An example that I often use is that of Christmas gifts.
Almost all we think we are not free, of necessarily having to give a gift to certain people.
Are you free, or free, not to give a gift to a friend or partner.
Of course you are, you can choose.
Obviously you fear the reaction of those who expect the gift.
Maybe the judgment of others who will know you didn't buy it.
But these things, very concrete and real, do not prevent you, however, from choose what to do.
So what is freedom?
To be able to do or to be able to choose?
I say that we are free because we can make choices that we like the most.
What fools us, so to speak, is the reaction others might have.
Maybe your friends get offended if they don't see your Christmas present for them.
How does it come out?
I'll explain it to you in a second, but first I want to ask you a question:
Are those who give a gift more free because others expect it and do not want to disappoint them, or those who choose not to do so because they do not feel it, even if others do not like this choice?
Does it make sense to continue your relationship as a couple?
Answer my test questions to find out.
It will allow you to understand if your relationship has the characteristics to last or not.
What does fear have to do with freedom?
Why would you not fail to make Christmas gifts?
For fear that your friends will get angry, or take offense, and maybe you may suffer.
And why wouldn't you take the box off the table?
For fear that the menacing man will hit you, and hurt you.
Understanding what freedom sets us to understand that we are free to do what we want.
However we have to deal with the reactions of others, and not only that, as we will see shortly.
Being free, or free, comes with a price, so to speak: deal with the freedom of others.
You can choose not to give a friend a gift, but you cannot choose how he will react.
He will be free to take offense, not to talk to you for a month, not to give importance to the gift.
Just as I am free to choose, so are you and so are all those who interact with us.
Here's how it works:
- Tu you can make the choices you prefer, you are free, or free.
- Every choice you make will have always consequences.
- You're responsible for the consequences that arise from your choices, even if you don't like them.
- You can't control a lot of these consequences.
Fear of negative consequences it holds us back from making our own choices.
Of course they are often small fears, such as being rejected or offended by someone.
But fear always occurs when you think something will happen that won't make you feel good.
Usually the word "fear" makes us think of serious and dangerous things.
We actually always have some form of fear when we experience negative emotions.
We don't feel free because we fear something.
This fear is a fear, however small it may be.
It's not that you're not free, or free, it's that you don't like what might happen if you do what you want to do.
You don't think you have freedom just because you can't control what's going to happen when you make your choices.
What is the most obvious statement of those who do not feel free?
I can not.
You may want to avoid that gift but you think "I can't!".
Or you would like to do something considered ridiculous and think “I can't!”.
Or maybe you want to say what you think but others won't like it, and you say "I can't".
But you can not?
I have found that reality provides solo due alternative, and the can't is not one of them:
- I do not want to. You would like to do something but, thinking about what would happen, you don't want to do it. It seems counterintuitive, but it almost always happens like this.
- I am not able. You would like it and you would too, but you are not capable of it.
I assure you that the can't does not exist.
Either you don't want to, because you are afraid of the consequences, or you can't, because you are missing something.
Saying I don't want to is difficult.
It means that thing choose not to do it.
If others don't like your choice, they will take it out on you.
You will have no excuses.
If you say you can't do it, then it means it's not your fault, and others won't blame you.
- You don't want to give a gift, but you say that you couldn't because of work.
- You don't want to go to a party, but you say that you can not for another engagement.
- You don't want to do a favor, but you say that you can not, because you feel bad.
They are often excuses. Ok, they are always, or almost always, excuses.
If you notice they are always linked to work, To health or want of other people (usually absent!).
As said, being free has a price: face disapproval of others, because they will not like many of our choices.
Then face the fear that others will react badly towards us.
Even saying I can't is difficult, because it means admit you have limits, that you are not capable, that you are inferior to those who, on the other hand, succeed.
At this point we should talk about self-esteem, and for this I have made a rich study. Read it.
I think it would be very useful if you want to say, without problems, both I can't but also I don't want to.
Before proceeding, I would like to point out a practical guide that I created on fear.
It tells you how to overcome fear, road essential to feel free.
If you are not afraid of what will happen, if you learn to deal with it, then you will have much more freedom to choose.
Mind you, you can always choose, but the more you think you know how to handle the consequences of your decisions, the more you have the strength to make them.
Wakes up! You are not God, but you are still free, or free
When I found out what freedom is, I started living a happy life.
We don't feel free because we are often afraid of the consequences of our choices.
You are not omnipotent, here, I said it!
What does it mean? What is freedom?
Your ability to choose.
And you never miss it, because as you have seen, you can always make the choices you prefer.
Sometimes you don't want to, sometimes you don't, but you can still choose.
The mistake is confuse omnipotence with freedom. If you are omnipotent:
- Do what you want and others do what you want.
- Do as you please and life adapts great.
- Whatever changes you decide to make, you will get the results you have established.
- Everything goes exactly the way you wanted it.
Some would call it a delusion of omnipotence but, joking aside, as you can see it is absurd to think that this means to be free.
Seen in this way, freedom does not exist.
But freedom is a little different, something like this:
- Do what you want and others do what they want too.
- Do as you please and life takes its course.
- Any changes you decide to make, you will get results, it depends on you.
- Everything goes a certain way, you make your own choices.
Being free means having control over us.
You do whatever you want.
Being omnipotent means having control over others and the world.
No, this you will never have!
But you are free, or free, anyway!
Freedom is your ability to choose.
Nobody can take it off you.
Sometimes it seems like we are losing our freedom, but if you look closely, the problem is what others are doing.
You can't control it.
What happens after you act, often it's not up to you.
If you learn to distinguish freedom and omnipotence, you realize that no one can stop you from making your own choices.
- At Christmas you can give gifts. Whether to do them, to whom, what or not to do them are all choices that are entirely up to you.
- You can do any work. Accepting one rather than another, leaving one to look for better ones, rejecting them all and staying at home on the sofa are choices that are entirely up to you.
- You can dress as you like. Following the fashion, not following it, being elegant or not are all choices that depend only on you.
Is the conformist who follows the rules freer or the nonconformist who breaks them?
Today I see more people breaking them, saying they are free and rebellious for it, but that they do what most of their peers do.
Here is what Erich Fromm wrote in the Art of Love:
“Most people don't even realize their need for conformity.
He lives in the illusion of following his own ideas and inclinations, of being an individualist, of having reached his own convictions by himself;
and it turns out that his ideas are the same as those of the majority. "
I advise you to read this book: it is really precious to reflect on our freedom, and not only.
Always remember that freedom has a price.
Be responsible for the choices we make, accepting the freedom of others, the fact that we cannot control what happens after we act.
Learning to manage the fear that the answers to our decisions are against us.
But it is never high enough to give up our freedom.
Discover the 5 Steps to Living INTENSIVELY a life Full of Emotions and Find You Well and in Balance in Every Situation (without Feeling Bad anymore) Training Your "Emotional Independence”, Even If You Don't Believe That Things Enough May they Be Different ...
... If You Don't Trust Yours Capacity or Yours Character It Doesn't Help You!
Conclusions: it's time to train your freedom
I wrote give up.
Indeed you cannot give up your freedom.
You can never lose your ability to choose.
A few examples? Of course!
- You don't know what to give to your partner, ask a friend for advice but they don't like the gift. Is it your friend's fault? You have chosen to ask for advice e you have chosen to follow him.
- You don't know which university to choose and you ask an old professor for help, but in the end you don't like that choice and you leave your studies. Fault of the professor? You have chosen to follow his advice.
- Ask a professional for help with something you know nothing about. Follow her directions but they turn out to be wrong. You have chosen to trust and follow his advice.
The last example seems excessive, but think about this: if you don't know that there is a hole in front of your feet and you fall in it, whose fault is it?
Forget it, there's no use blaming anyone.
One thing you may not even know, but the decisions you make are yours.
If you have no information and you are wrong, you will pay the consequences of your mistakes.
Freedom has a price, it must be paid and you cannot give up.
Even if you let me decide for you, this one it is perhaps not a choice?
One day you could blame me for mistakes and what would I answer?
You're the one who chose to let me decide.
In fact, it must have been your choice to do what I decided.
On the other hand you can learn how to make the best decisions possible.
I made a practical guide out of it that explains how to be confident and act fearlessly. Read it.
Do you remember that freedom has a price?
Well, usually we try to make others pay.
We blame those who offer advice, but in the end, the bill, always comes to our house.
You cannot lose your freedom, you will always be free, or free, and this it is not a sentence, but a fortune!
Do you know who is afraid of freedom?
Who does not know how to use it best.
I want to give you some advice to learn how to make it a valuable tool, because your freedom allows you to create your life.
Think about it, because this, for you, It's only the beginning.
Discover and resources on the site, start using your freedom fully.
Consider this: you can always choose, and you will.
If you give others the power to decide for you, you are making a choice.
You have a responsibility for your actions, the bill is yours and it always arrives to get paid.
You can't deprive yourself of your freedom, but you can make it a strength.
You have the ability to create your life.
If for some this seems like a burden, I assure you that you can make it a gift.
Everything is in your hands.
On the site I have created guides and insights to help you make your life something wonderful.
A real path of personal growth.
Ma everything depends on you.
Now that you know you have no excuses, and a great chance: live a happy life.
And since the biggest prison is inside our mind, I suggest you read my guide dedicated tounconscious.
I explain to you how it makes your decisions, how it controls you, how learn to master it in a simple and healthy way.