Last update: December 16, 2018
Sooner or later, everyone has a hard time going through it. The end of a relationship, the loss of a job after many years, an unexpected illness that limits and blocks us ... all this forces us to answer a painful question and to reconsider some aspects of life that we took for granted: what do i really want?
This question is not immediately answerable, on the contrary it could surprise us and put us in crisis. In fact, how many times do we ask ourselves what we really want? Maybe a few. We often get carried away by life, we put on automatic pilot and we don't stop to analyze if the way we are living is what we want.
We don't do it until something happens that forces us to think, to ask ourselves “What do I want?”. It is as if we are being torn violently from our comfort zone, comfortable and quiet. Some of us take advantage of the opportunity and begin to enjoy life like we never have before. Others, on the other hand, remain stuck in the same situation for a long time without advancing or retreating, and so they wear out.
What I want? A painful but decisive question
You may be wondering why the question "what do I really want?" be so difficult and painful. Because it is decisive. Somehow it requires us to change and as we all know, the changes do not excite us.
Change is not necessarily negative, perhaps the circumstances that sometimes force us to do so are negative. Our vision, however, is clouded by an absolute negativity that prevents us from seeing the bright side of the situation.
We want to give you the example of a girl who lost her leg following a car accident. Her name is Paola Antonini. She is a Brazilian model, she has her own YouTube channel and is a source of inspiration for many people, whether they have had an amputation or not.
Paola Antonini: a story of overcoming
If we listen to the story of this young woman, we will discover that immediately after the accident, waiting for almost an hour for the ambulance, fully aware of what had happened and suffering unbearable pain, the only thing he wanted was to stay alive.
The rehabilitation was very hard. The prosthesis hurt, but at least it allowed her to walk. After the surgery, Paola asked herself this question “what do I want?”. She found the answer: today she travels a lot, she has a wonderful smile and words of encouragement that she addresses to everyone, but above all to herself. Because for her, the accident was not a disgrace, but an opportunity to redirect her life and live it much more intensely.
A love breakup, an accident, a problem, a dismissal can bring our attention back to the right value of life.
Giving way to change is painful
At this point, we begin to think that "what do I want?" is not such a painful question, but that change is, the need to move forward when something has upset our life. Many changes, however, are positive and force us to free ourselves from patterns of behavior that are not valid for us.
Does the partner leave us? It can be the opportunity to end a bad emotional addiction that we never wanted to feel. If we lose our job, it may be time to embark on that project we have been cherishing for a long time. Each of us has the task of discovering what he has been postponing for too many years, what is truly passionate, abandoning fear for the first time and realizing it.
It is certainly difficult at first, but the question "what do I really want?" it is already within us. Fear represents that obstacle that prevents us from acting. In critical moments we must stop, take time to feel the pain and make the best decision for us.
There is no need to ignore the pain or remove it: give it a voice, overcome it and let it transform into hope, peace and tranquility of mind.