We learn to relate to ourselves

Who I am
Louise Hay
@louisehay
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We all interact with many people on a daily basis, whether at work or on the street, in our homes or through social networks. To some we dedicate only a cold greeting while with others we stop to exchange a few words and with some people, with whom we feel particularly connected, we talk about our problems and dreams.

But because we are continually immersed in a sea of ​​relationships, we often overlook a very special person: ourselves. In reality, very few people spend even a few minutes a day on introspection. Although it may seem absurd, we normally behave as if we were constantly on autopilot, without thinking about ourselves, and our thoughts rarely attract our attention by generating an internal dialogue that only serves to create tension and discomfort.



One way or another, the truth is that we completely neglect the relationship we have with ourselves, and when we deign to pay attention, it is only to complain about something we have allegedly done wrong. In short, if we maintained the same relationship with our partner and our children as we do with ourselves, they would probably abandon us because we are too lazy and unpleasant.

However, remember that the way you relate to yourself not only determines your daily mood, it also helps to make your dreams and happiness come true. Therefore, it is not something you should take lightly.

  1. Take care of yourself as you would a small child. Imagine that there is a small child inside of you. How would you treat him? Would you ignore him all the time and talk to him just to scold him? I do not think so! Instead, if you worried about him, you would be careful to intervene at the slightest hint of discomfort and would try to console him when he feels bad. Similarly, you should treat yourself, bearing in mind that the words you speak can affect your self-esteem by turning you into a confident person or a fearful individual who is afraid of taking risks.
  1. Listen to your thoughts. It does not mean falling into the trap of ruminative thoughts that plunge you into a vicious circle characterized by anxiety, but rather try to understand where your thoughts originate from. You will likely discover fears you did not know and aspects of your personality that you were unwilling to accept. It will be painful at first, but it is an indispensable process by which you will learn to accept yourself as you are, with your strengths and weaknesses.
  1. Feel your emotions. Do not try to suppress or ignore what you are feeling, because you would not make it disappear, but you would sink it into the unconscious where it will continue to do damage. Instead, allow yourself to cry or be angry. Intense emotional reactions are normal when you have experienced periods of high stress, and if you let them flow freely, you will feel lighter and return to your daily routine faster.
  1. Be condescending to yourself. We often deny ourselves many things because we think we don't deserve them. But to relate better to ourselves it is essential to learn to be more tolerant of our mistakes and to understand that failure does not make us worse people. Indeed, when you reach a goal, treat yourself to a reward, giving yourself a small gift will make you feel good. By adopting this attitude, you will automatically feel better about yourself.

 



  1. Analyze your behavior. Every day, before falling asleep, think about those behaviors, attitudes or reactions that you have had that do not satisfy you. Try to identify the causes and think of alternative solutions that you would like more. For example, if you behaved rudely to a coworker during the day because they made a criticism you didn't like, think about how you might have reacted more assertively.

So the next time something like this happens to you, you will know what to do. With this little exercise you will not only be accepting a mistake, but you will also be working to prevent it from happening again in the future. You will thus become a better person.



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