If you are under pressure to adapt to expectations, it may be time to recognize and value what makes you unique. We are all good at something.
Last update: June 23, 2022
Comparison is implicit in our human condition, others are a point of reference. However, we also know that we often use the information we extract from this comparison with negative repercussions. Instead, we need to remember that we are all good at something.
In light of this comparison, we may feel inferior, imperfect or useless, which threatens our self-esteem. This happens because we lose sight of the fact that even if we don't possess certain skills, we are all good at something.
Unfortunately, the company tends to seek approval. Just as there are some ideal aesthetic canons in which we want, some more or less, to adapt, there are also skills, attitudes and personality traits that are required of us. There seems to be no room for diversity, however rewarding.
The heterogeneity of virtue
The social pressure to adapt to certain canons is evident. On the other hand, a more homogeneous society is easier to control and poses fewer challenges.
This begins, and is clearly seen, during the school term. The current educational paradigm is still based on the classic pattern of repetition and memorization. Students who excel in these areas receive better grades.
On the contrary, those who are more active and creative, those who need to move, do and experiment to learn, are labeled as inadequate or unintelligent. The same happens depending on how good you are in certain subjects: it doesn't matter if the child is good at music if he doesn't excel in mathematics.
This trend continues throughout life. There is an outlined generic path that we must stick to if we want to be recognized. Studying in prestigious universities, having a stable job and starting traditional families are the main expectations that fall on us.
Thus, those who choose to train as self-taught, to have a small artistic business or to remain single are forced to constantly bear the weight of confrontation and the idea of "failure".
When we forget that we are all good at something we get very hurt
All these social processes are not indifferent to us. On the contrary, they shape the image we have of ourselves and of life and can cause very negative emotions. In the following lines we see the main reactions in the face of environmental pressure.
Giving up your essence
Children are innocent, spontaneous and confident. They are dedicated to what they love and do not care about the opinions of others. However, one quickly learns that the love and approval of others are conditional and that to earn them it is not always possible to be oneself.
As a result, there are those who give up their creative and free essence to become an obedient and methodical person. Although this leads to presumed success, one leads an unhappy and dissatisfied existence and it is even possible to get sick. It happens, for example, to those who suffer from the good girl syndrome.
Living by pretending and wearing a mask
We can be very good at something, but if we are not good at what we "should" we feel we are at fault. For example, an introverted person, with a large and rich inner world, on multiple occasions she may reject her sensitivity and force herself to be more active and outgoing.
In this way, we belittle our qualities and virtues and strive to change, to be like the others. Unfortunately this leads us to live behind a mask and the effort of pretending to be who we are not can be exhausting.
Despite the efforts to be excellent students, sociable people and leaders, it happens that you don't succeed. It is natural, as we are different human beings and not mass-produced robots.
However, this inability to be good at what is expected of us can make us feel like a failure and deeply damage our self-esteem. We can also feel anxious and depressed.
We are all good at something: embracing what makes us unique
To avoid the painful consequences of comparisons, it is important to encourage and accept diversity on a social level. Be aware that everyone can make a valuable contribution to society, even if not in a conventional way.
But we start from ourselves, recognizing and accepting ourselves as we are. We are all good at something! Let's stop comparing ourselves to others and demeaning ourselves, instead let's value ourselves.
We could be introverted, therefore excellent listeners and advisers thus instilling calm. Maybe we are not competitive, but artistic and creative. We may not like traveling the world, but adept at creating a welcoming home to take root in.
Diversity is not synonymous with inferiority or inadequacy. On the contrary, we are all unique and necessary, the world would be incomplete otherwise. We embrace what makes us unique.