Wanting to be alone can be good

Wanting to be alone can be good

The relationship with our inner self is very important and can only be achieved with solitude.

Wanting to be alone can be good

Last update: April 20, 2022

Most of us understand loneliness from a negative perspective. Being alone, however, offers several benefits. Many are better off without company or when they are not surrounded by people; in light of this, science has devoted itself to studying the desire to want to be alone.



It is believed that all activities carried out in a group, as a couple or as a family are more fun, from going to the cinema to dinner, celebrating Christmas or having a coffee. Also play sports, walk in the park or go shopping.

But what's wrong with doing these activities alone? This is thought to involve bitterness, depression, sadness and abandonment.

Loneliness as a negative experience

Why is loneliness associated with negative feelings? There are more and more cases of people enjoying their moments alone and they even put aside family and social customs or traditions to be faithful to their own well-being.

Do you think spending New Year's Eve alone at home is crazy? Or that planning a vacation without any company other than luggage is an absurd idea? Well, for hundreds of people, it is an experience that cannot be compared to anything.

The general negative interpretation of loneliness is due to human nature, made to live in society. Here because in most cases, being alone is understood as negative and unwanted.

But yet…

It is not the same, however, for those who wish to be alone without causing them discomfort or sadness. These are not hermits or antisocial beings, but of people who want to enjoy their space and contact with their inner self.



Instead, there are those who, for fear of loneliness, make unwise decisions, such as establishing a relationship with the first person who crosses their path or joining a group with which they have nothing in common. They pretend to be different so as not to feel alone.

Psychologist Cecilia Rodríguez Díaz explains that it is necessary “To know the definition of loneliness and, in turn, to contemplate it as a completely personal and subjective experience”.

There is a wide range of possibilities for perceiving or traversing loneliness. Many times you can be surrounded by people and feel very lonely; vice versa, having no one at your side and believing you are accompanied.

Loneliness is linked to the lack of intimate bonds and networks. Exactly the picture today. Today, in fact, it is very difficult to maintain close contact with others, even though we live in an age of technology, texting, social networking and video calling.

Is it possible to want to be alone?

Before answering this question, it is necessary to consult about the type of loneliness we are referring to. Experts say that there are several, it all depends on the essence and how the person feels about it, even if she is induced or forced.

However, aSome traits present in most cases by those who choose solitude are: shyness, fear, difficulty in relating, fear of rejection, of making mistakes or of being hurt. In light of this, they avoid hanging out with others, having groups of friends, and avoiding talking.


On the contrary, there are those who prefer to be alone because they feel better this way, they consider themselves self-sufficient, they don't need anyone else, they feel that loneliness makes them less vulnerable, etc.


Among other types of loneliness, we can mention those who seem to love or appreciate it, who don't mind spending weeks without talking or seeing loved ones, who try to isolate themselves, who never get together for a birthday, who prefer jobs loners, etc.


And finally the circumstantial loneliness, or that which can manifest itself for different reasons, such as divorce or death. It is not sought after, but "falls from the sky", so it requires you to face the grief and accept the loss.

Wanting to be alone, when is it healthy?

Understanding the benefits of loneliness is extremely difficult due to our conception of a sociable species, which needs to live in community, to have a family, to belong to a group.

It is extremely difficult to understand or think that loneliness can also be synonymous with fullness or happiness, in other words with health.

Loneliness can become a harmonious and very fulfilling experience, but without overstepping the boundaries. It is not a question of going to live alone in the middle of the mountains or of stopping talking to parents overnight. Rather, it consists of  devote a few moments of the day or week to being clear and simple with yourself.


The relationship with our inner self is very important and can only be achieved with solitude. It allows us, for example, to recognize what happens to us before it becomes unbearable, defend ourselves from what is happening around us, listen to what the body wants to tell us, etc.

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