Last update: 14 September, 2022
There are times in our life when it seems like some people are just trying to create conflict. When we find ourselves in these annoying situations, the best thing is to use silence, get away from the annoyance and relax.
Very often, those who annoy us just want to make us angry and frustrated. Despite this, the best thing is not to add fuel to the fire and create a great bubble of calm around us. Succeeding is not easy, but it is possible and, above all, very advantageous.
Everyone has their own strategies, more or less effective, to use in these cases. Despite this, it is always important to carry a large anti-stress luggage that, in complicated situations, allows us to become a beautiful temple made of silence and tranquility.
Learning to step away and relax in moments of tension
There is a lot of talk about teaching your children to relax, yet there is usually very little advice for adults. For this reason, it is taken for granted that "the grown-ups" are skilled in this task and that, if we fail to control ourselves in the face of someone who wants to create conflict, it is because we do not want to.
Nothing further from reality. We need to re-educate ourselves to be able to control our emotions and to manage these situations and their consequences. Here, then, are some small tips to follow if you want to work on your emotions:
- It's always good to count to ten, twenty or as long as you need it.
- You can make an effort and try to distract yourself with whatever you have in hand.
- It is great to focus on yourself and observe how the emotions triggered by those who want to sow discord manifest themselves.
- Getting away from the bad time and re-evaluating the situation is very important.
- Staying active and playing sports on a regular basis is key to staying calm.
- Learning some relaxation and breathing techniques thanks to disciplines such as yoga, pilates or mindfulness can often save you from losing control.
Assertiveness: the secret to fighting petty intentions
When we talk about using silence, it doesn't mean being passive in front of anyone who bothers us. In reality, the secret is to be assertive in order to be able to handle the situation. For this reason, it is essential to start with relaxation, because with an altered mood it is normal not to be able to express our feelings with certainty and temperance, because we are dominated by anger and anger.
We alone are responsible for our behavior and how we feel afterwards. Let's see a short story to understand that something or someone can only hurt us if we let them:
Giovanni walked down the street with his father to go to the newsagent where, every day, he bought the newspaper. Once they arrived, they greeted the owner politely, who, like every other day, seemed to be in a bad mood.
The owner answered them brusquely and recklessly. Giovanni's father, on the other hand, smiled as he took the newspaper that the other had thrown at him badly and wished him a good weekend. When the father and son left, the boy asked him:
- Does he always treat you so rude?
- Yes unfortunately.
- And you, on the other hand, are you always so kind?
- Yes just like this.
- And why are you so nice to him if he's so mean to you?
- Because I don't want him to decide how I should behave.
Truly human people are those who manage to be themselves. In their life they act, they don't react to what others say or do. They act on their own initiative, they do not react to the actions of others or how they expect them to act ”.
Text adapted by Sydney Harris
Nurturing the ability to express our will without remorse is very important if we are to establish a peaceful relationship and take a position that allows us to evaluate the intentions of those who want to cause conflict.
Being able to plant ourselves and ad building a wall of silence between us and the bad deeds of others is difficult learning, but that, without any doubt, in the long term it will give the fruits we need: to use our will to strengthen our self-esteem, our determination and our self-love.
Because, as we often hear, moving away from conflicts improves health and soul ...