Traumatic childhood: can you be happy adults?

Traumatic childhood: can you be happy adults?

Traumatic childhood: can you be happy adults?

Last update: 17 September, 2020

Childhood isn't always happy. Unfortunately, some of us have had to go through difficult, sometimes extreme experiences that have left a deep wound in the soul. It is as children that we weave most of the threads that make up our psychological life. This is why it is interesting to ask: can you be happy after living a traumatic childhood?


It is actually a fact: it is very difficult to be happy, but not impossible. In the first years of life we ​​are particularly sensitive on an emotional level. Whether they are positive or negative, experiences leave an indelible mark on our lives. Let's see how to be happy adults after a traumatic childhood. 


"Man's true homeland is his childhood."

-Rainer Maria Rilke-

A child is an extremely vulnerable human being. It depends on the adult world and its primary environment. He has no physical or psychological resources to understand and filter experiences. He easily oversizes them, distorts them, sometimes feels sad or overwhelmed by circumstances.

The effects of a traumatic childhood

The different forms of child abuse or maltreatment have long-term consequences, there is no doubt about that. However, that doesn't mean you can't be happy adults. Rather, it means that to be so we will have to try harder than others.

The traumas of childhood turn into difficulties in living a happy adult life. Self-love and self-confidence have been damaged. For some, it is almost impossible to love or to be loved; for others, it is difficult to express their feelings or feel them on a conscious level.

Often we live with a feeling of malaise, disillusionment, sadness. With this background noise, how can you build or maintain a positive attitude? Well, we must fight against all this.

How to be happy after living a traumatic childhood?

Maybe some negative experiences from the past are indelible, but by doing good work on yourself it is possible to be happy. The echo of the suffering experienced as children will not be extinguished completely and crying will hardly find definitive consolation. The good thing is, however, that overcoming a painful past often results in a more evolved, sensitive and constructive personality.

To overcome the pain of a traumatic childhood, the following steps can help: 

  • Learn about the effects of the trauma. It helps a lot to know, through serious sources, the nature and consequences of childhood trauma. This information allows us to see more clearly and better understand what we are feeling.
  • Protect yourself and take care of yourself. Those who have lived through a difficult childhood tend to underestimate the importance of self-protection and self-love. Don't let that happen. Heal yourself, physically, psychologically and socially. Treat yourself as a creature to be protected.
  • Cultivate good friendships. A wound often leads to isolation and difficulty relating to others. Fight against this trend. Cultivate friendship, reserve it a place of honor in your life. Don't isolate yourself.
  • Get away from people who harm you. Do not be tolerant of those who make you feel bad or those who cause negative feelings in you. Is there such a person in your life? Keep it away.
  • Reconnect and reinterpret your past. Hiding or ignoring past events does not help ease the pain. In reverse. Better review what has happened to you with a new attitude of acceptance and understanding.

Overcoming the past

In the presence of childhood trauma, it is always advisable to seek professional help. However strong and intelligent you are, nothing replaces the effect of psychological therapy. A good professional facilitates the path to understanding and inner balance.

Having a difficult childhood gives you a different perspective on life. This can be an advantage or a disadvantage - it all depends on how we deal with and handle the consequences. 

It is not easy to find the motivation to take this path and remedy a painful past. However, it is worthwhile, because from this comes a personal growth that helps to recover balance and well-being.

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