Last update: May 31, 2016
To love means to take care of each other. No love can stand on lack of attention. There is no more common thought in the mind of the lover than that of looking after one's partner. Doing so means thinking about the small details, admiring the person next to you and making them feel special, listened to and loved.
It may seem obvious, but the truth is that the first thing you end up neglecting is this: attention. We are all good in theory, we know that you have to conquer the person you love every single day and keep your attention towards him.
However, when it comes to putting these attentions into practice every day, we tend to be careless and end up damaging our relationship due to attitudes of indifference or carelessness, postponing the small attentions to another moment.
Love lasts if you take care of it, and you take care of it if you love it
Sometimes we behave towards love like a child with its balloon: we ignore what we have and then cry when we have lost it. The expression “we don't know what we have until we lose it” has never been more appropriate.
If we don't make a commitment to dedicate ourselves to our relationships, we risk making the enthusiasm vanish and the desire to keep alive that affection or bond which, we suppose, makes us happy. We take it for granted that our partner or the people around us are always willing to wait for us, to put up with us or to understand us in the face of everything.
But the truth is, we tolerate anything as long as our needs are not at stake. By sticking with this idea, however, we will end up oppressing ourselves and others, creating and giving life to unhealthy vicious circles that will corrode those feelings that we should have taken care of.
“Eventually you realize that the smallest things are the most important. The chats at three in the morning, the spontaneous smiles, the disastrous photos that make you laugh out loud, the ten-line poems that tear a tear from you. The books that no one knows, but that become your favorites, a flower in your hair, a coffee drunk alone ... All things worth living, the smallest things that trigger gigantic emotions.
-Da "Between letters and caffeine"-
The excuses behind the carelessness
We tend to use the short time available as an excuse, but in reality what often deteriorates relationships is inertia, habits and customs. In other words, the routine. So everything that, if handled in the right way should not have negative effects, ends up having a destructive power.
When do we stop caring for the people we love? When we stop feeding daily smiles, when we close our eyes and stop looking for reciprocity. All this ends up weakening the light that love brought into our life, and everything becomes much more superficial.
It is at this point that the special element of the couple goes out, we no longer feel loved and part of our relationship is shattered. Thus, failure to show interest and gratitude ends up generating doubts within the relationship and the union becomes division.
There are no eternal loves, there are well-kept loves
There is no universal recipe to protect one's love, nevertheless it is possible to commit with all one's strength so that it is not carelessness that deteriorates it. Because there are no eternal loves per se, there are well-kept loves.
The fundamental pillars of a lasting relationship, therefore, are admiration, the conception of the couple as a team, the deep knowledge of the other, the difficulties seen as a source of learning and the continuous search for solutions to problems, the sharing of moments of encounter and confrontation.
It is therefore a question of working on the ability to understand each other, to accept and care for each other. Because, after all, to love means to take care, a simple and profound concept at the same time.