To be or to appear, that is the question

Who I am
Joe Dispenza
@joedispenza
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wikipedia.org

Author and references
When I let go of what I am, I become what I could be When I let go of what I have, I get what I need The emptiness is filled When I give myself, I am greater When I feel broken, I grow When I want nothing, everything comes to meThis is the paradox of detachment, one of the teachings that the Taoism and that could radically change the way we face and understand life, helping us to find greater peace and serenity in everyday life. it is that of authenticity. Being authentic is increasingly rare, it is something we gradually lose as, growing up, we begin to wear different masks to face society, so we fall victim to a contradiction, the more we adapt and the better we move in different social contexts, the further we get away from it. our essence, becoming less authentic. And to the extent that we move away from our essence, while disconnecting with our "I", we stop satisfying our real needs and take the goals of others as our own, convincing ourselves that their dreams can satisfy us.In fact, we live in a world of invented and globalized needs, where most people aspire to the same things, never stopping to think about what they really want, what would make them really happy or what they really need . It is therefore not surprising that when certain "goals" are reached, one feels empty and dissatisfied. At that moment, happiness is thought to be a chimera made only to sell psychological self-help manuals. The good news is that it is not. The bad news is that happiness is built by working hard day in and day out.

Authenticity is achieved by looking within, through detachment

According to the paradox of detachment, the key to getting out of this vicious circle is to discover our essence through detachment. Let's analyze some of the sentences:1. When I let go of what I am, I become what I could be. Only when we free ourselves from stereotypes, beliefs and preconceptions that we have formed over the years about the world and about ourselves, do we discover our true potential. Only when that voice in your head stops telling you it's not possible or you're not up to it, can you dare to do what you really like. When you free yourself from the conditioning that binds you, you can find out how far you can go, because you will leave behind all those roles that classify you. Then you will become a more whole person.
2. When I let go of what I have, I get what I need. We live in a society where we spend money we don't have to buy things we don't need in order to impress people who don't care about us. In this rush to materialism we lose our essence. But when we let go of all those things that, presumably, we would need to convey a successful image, a miracle happens: we find freedom and with it peace of mind. When we don't need to impress others and we don't pursue things and goals that aren't really necessary, we get serenity, the one that comes from self-knowledge and self-confidence.
3. When I indulge myself, I am older. Most of the great religions have always preached dedication to others. Now, several psychological studies confirm that in the act of helping others we grow as people and help ourselves. A meta-analysis of 40 studies conducted over the past 20 years revealed without a doubt that helping people through volunteering not only reduces the risk of developing depression and increases the feeling of well-being, it also reduces by 22%. the risk of dying at a young age. Undoubtedly, the direct connection with others is very useful because it activates the production of oxytocin, a hormone that helps fight stress. Also, helping others makes us feel better, giving us a broader sense of life. Here the paradox arises: the more we give ourselves to others, the more we will know ourselves in depth.
4. When I feel broken, I grow up. It is normal to go to great lengths to avoid pain and suffering. Over the centuries we have been concerned with coating them with negativity to the point that we are no longer able to appreciate their positives. In fact, did you know that the pearls are the result of an intrusion that the oysters suffered and reacted by covering the foreign body with various layers of a protective substance? Likewise, problems, conflicts and mistakes can become masters of life that allow us to be stronger and wiser. The key is to be aware of this. This does not mean that the wound will hurt less, but that we can use it in our favor to grow. For example, a heart attack can plunge a person into a deep depression or it can be the urge that prompts them to adopt healthier habits that allow them to live more fully. You have no power over the circumstances, but you can always decide how to react.
5. When I desire nothing, everything comes to me. The struggle to achieve certain goals only serves to create tension. This tension will cause you to make mistakes, make you more irritable, and end up hurting your health and relationships. On the contrary, when you plan a goal but do not live it with anxiety, but learn to enjoy the journey, you will always gain something, since even if you do not arrive at the goal you will still have learned a lot. It is not a question of not having goals, but of not being dazzled by them, so as not to lose the course. Because what we really need are not things, but experiences, and when we focus on them we are able to grow.
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