Tips for when looking for a partner

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Robert Maurer
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Tips for when looking for a partner

Last update: February 24, 2015

1. Avoid despair

Nobody feels attracted to a person who is desperately looking for a partner. Because? Because when you notice that someone needs a person to feel good it means that their self-esteem is not very high and usually this is not an attractive aspect.

It is not necessary to be an expert in psychology to detect a lack of self-esteem. Even if we don't do it on purpose, we subconsciously realize if a person does not value himself and this causes a rejection. We all want a person who loves and accepts himself for who he is.



I don't know if it has happened to you too that someone wants you to be engaged to someone else. Parents telling you about their lovely son they might introduce you to, friends telling you they know someone who can't find a partner and who is a beautiful person, and so on.

Usually this tactic is rejected right away because we consciously or subconsciously think that they want to give us a person who is unable to find a partner on their own.

Nobody wants what is easy to get. We want to be chosen because a person truly likes us, not out of loneliness or desperation.

Avoid at all costs to give an image of yourself sad, lonely, desperate to find someone. Try to value yourself, to feel good alone and to be self-sufficient, and in this way you will attract more than when they see in you despair, sadness or loneliness.

2. Your goal should not be to find a partner, but to socialize

When the main goal is to find a partner, it is noticeable. There is a certain rush and despair that is usually not liked. Avoid talking about your desire to find your sweetheart, how unfortunate you are not to have a partner, and so on.



Remember that negativity does not attract anyone. You have to bring out the safe and positive side of you. It is good that the intention is to get to know people and then who knows what can happen, but the other person must see that you are not looking for a partner out of loneliness. Show her that if you find someone you really like, you'd like to be in a relationship, but that if the chemistry isn't there, you'd rather be alone.

This will cause them to value you because they will see that you are not looking for something easy, and everyone likes to have someone who is not satisfied with anyone who comes in front of them.

3. Remember your strengths

To be interesting to someone, you must first appreciate yourself. Stop and think about what your strengths are, use them and believe them. If you feel you are worth it, others will feel it too.

Think if you were another person; would you fall in love with the qualities you have? Bring out your positives and fall in love with them every day so that others do too.

Many aspire to meet a wonderful person, wonder a lot about others, but don't look at themselves. If you want someone you deserve, you become the person you are looking for and you will be chosen.


Love is not sought

How many times have you heard this phrase? "Love is not sought, it comes when you least expect it". I agree, love is something that cannot be found easily and that cannot be activated when you want, but for sure if you are not active, if you do nothing, it will be more difficult to meet someone.

Love is not sought, but we must try to get to know new people. The more people you know, the more chances there are of falling in love with someone and finding a partner.


As mentioned in point 2, your goal should not be to find a partner, but to get to know many new people in order to broaden the possibilities of meeting someone special with whom you would like to start a relationship.

Image courtesy of: Javier Bouzas

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