The terrible consequences of indifference

Who I am
Robert Maurer

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“Sometimes, coldness and indifference do more harm than declared aversion“. In reality, there is nothing more disconcerting and harmful than feeling an emotional emptiness, especially if it comes from people we consider important. Nor is it by chance that emotional indifference is classified as one of the forms of occult violence and is even punishable by law, especially in the case of the education of children. But why is indifference so harmful?

What happens when we are victims of indifference?

1. There is bewilderment. However little we expect from others, we will always expect people close to us to react in some way to our needs and emotions. For this reason, when we don't get any answers, we feel lost and uncomfortable. Indifference strikes us because it destroys our way of understanding the world and social relationships, generating uncertainty and anguish.

2. Increase personal insecurity. When someone avoids us we stop getting any back feed. Therefore, we cannot understand what he thinks about us and we do not know how to react. We must remember that relationships are like refined movements of a dance that we regulate according to the responses that come from others. Also, in childhood, we compare our own image based on the image others have of us, so if the only answer we have is indifference we are likely to feel very insecure.

3. We lose self-esteem. In reality, indifference is not the absence of an answer, but it also conveys a message that we are worth "too little" to generate an intense reaction in others. Obviously, when the situation repeats itself over the years it negatively affects our self-esteem.

4. Increase your anxiety level. Having to decipher what the other person feels or believes at all times is stressful. It is much easier to know that a person reacts aggressively to certain behaviors and gives affection under certain circumstances. Indifference forces us to continually seek answers and this process can be very stressful, much more than having to deal with someone who is constantly angry or depressed.

5. Increases the feeling of loneliness. Indifference is hollow, so it is not surprising that it causes a deep sense of loneliness, especially if it comes from figures who are supposed to give us affection, such as parents, children or partner. And loneliness is the prelude to many problems, both psychological and physical.

What to do?

We cannot force people to treat us differently and abandon their indifferent attitude. In any case, when it comes to a person who is very important and significant to us, we can try to get to know them better and to practice behaviors that have an emotional resonance on them.

Many times people are indifferent because others, in turn, have been indifferent to them. Indifference is the only way of relating that they know. Sometimes they behave this way because they fear they will be hurt if they become emotionally involved. In that case, the secret is to prove that you are a trusted person, that you will not betray them.

However, in some cases, the best strategy is to establish a safe distance and surround yourself with positive people who truly appreciate your qualities and make you feel good. Remember that you cannot choose your family, but your friends can and, above all, do not forget that only you have the power to give them power over you.

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