The right to make mistakes in trying to change

The right to make mistakes in trying to change

When we try to change ourselves, we have to deal with the surrounding environment. In our attempt to improve, we also have the right to make mistakes, get up and try again.

The right to make mistakes in trying to change

Last update: January 18, 2021

Before embarking on any path of personal growth, we must have in mind that life is a continuous evolution. However, changes don't happen overnight: to get results, you need perseverance and discipline. Unfortunately some people forget that in trying to change ourselves, we have the right to make mistakes.

We take it for granted that those who live by our side will be happy with our decision and will support us. We feel disappointment and anger if our efforts are not appreciated. But we must be aware that it is we, with our well-being, who are the real engine of change. If we are waiting for someone else's approval, recognition, or support, we might throw in the towel right away.

You have to change for yourself, believe in yourself and motivate yourself. Today we will understand why it is so easy to find a brake on the part of those who live around us and how to deal with this situation.

When do we forget that everyone has the right to make mistakes?

Everyone can come across such a situation. For example, when we reveal to our relatives that we want to start a healthy diet and they don't waste time remarking, with an ironic tone, every little oversight. It doesn't matter if we've been sticking to the diet for a whole week, they just focus on our mistakes to underestimate and belittle us.

The same thing happens when you decide to face your fears. We decided to overcome the fear of driving by taking short car trips every day. Sometimes, however, we happen to ask our partner to drive because we don't feel like it, making it an opportunity to give us failures.

These reactions also occur when we try to improve the relationship and communication as a couple. We ask the partner to make a joint effort to improve the situation and from that moment on, even if he / she has not shown any sign of cooperation, the only moment in which we lose composure and fall back into the old routine will be immediately ready to complain. 

"Didn't you have to eat healthy?", "Didn't you say you would overcome the fear of driving?", "Nice reaction, didn't you say you were more understanding?". All of these questions bring with them a reproach, rather than a support. Why does this happen?

Why is this happening?

First of all, it is good to know that such a scenario is more frequent than it seems and says more about the one who expresses it than about the one who receives it. A person with an emotionally balanced, at peace with himself and who may have already faced a path of personal development, would not try to hinder the other.

On the other hand, it is good to underline that change is not well received by the people who live around us even when it is to our advantage. This happens because when we change, we are forced to change the dynamics of our relationships with others.

If an addict gets out of the loop, the partner will lose his or her position of superiority. If we decide to communicate respectfully, we will stop being cooperative in the conflict. Consequently, if others are unwilling to change, our efforts to improve may not be appreciated.

Value your journey

Our task therefore becomes to remain calm in the face of the reactions of the surrounding environment. Let's not make the mistake of depriving ourselves of our right to be wrong.

If you truly believe in the need for a change in yourself, respect your decision and find your time to make it. It is not about being perfect, nor about becoming perfect in one day. It's okay to stop, turn around and even take a few steps back. Growth is not linear, we cannot all reach the goal in the same way.

Falling does not mean falling back, an error is not the end of the path nor the failure of the project. Value Your Efforts: Remember that if you are trying to become better, you always have the right to make mistakes.

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