Anger is an emotion that is as necessary as it is useful. It warns us that something we do not like or harm us in some way. Accepting it, understanding its message and acting in a balanced way will allow us to improve our reality and promote positive change.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
The potential of anger is unknown to most people. C have always said to check it and remove it so as not to assume behaviors that we could later regret. Speaking of emotions, we need to remember their purpose and usefulness.
If we want a change in our life, anger is perhaps the most motivating emotion. In addition, it also has a hidden virtue: it offers us valuable information about ourselves. Anger allows us to understand what our limits are, what bothers us, what we do not tolerate and what are the behaviors of others that deviate from our values.
Sometimes anger can manifest itself irrationally, as a consequence of an instinct driven by blind violence. However, this only happens in very rare cases.
By giving ourselves the opportunity to deepen and understand how this emotion manifests itself, we will be able to learn a lot. In the following lines we will give some more information on this very particular emotion.
"Anger is an acid that can do more damage to the container it is stored in than anything it is poured on."
Tools to discover the potential of anger
Howard Kassinove is a psychologist at Hofstra University (Long Island, USA). He is one of the greatest experts in understanding dimensions such as anger, violence, fear, etc.
In books such as Anger management for everyone, he reveals that anger has transformative potential that much of the population is unaware of.
A study conducted on a sample of Russian and American nationalities found that nearly 55% of people admitted that well-managed anger helped them improve their quality of life. Let's discover the benefits of this emotion that we are used to avoiding and hiding.
The potential of anger: it allows for change
Among all the emotions that human beings feel, anger is the one that pushes us to action, to move, to change our condition. This is its main virtue. Hence, it is necessary to learn to understand what it wants to communicate to us.
- Anger appears when we perceive a contradiction, an injustice or when someone violates our rights, our truth or our personal integrity.
- This emotion does not want us to remain silent or submissive. Holding on to anger from day to day has consequences. Furthermore, keeping silent for a long time about what hurts or bothers ends up generating inappropriate reactions, such as “exploding” at the least opportune moment and with the least suitable people.
- Anger makes us act at the least opportune moment. However, when we have to act, serenity is the right ally to balance our emotions. Yes, it's true, anger gives us energy, but to be useful for our goals we need to know how to manage it.
If well managed it improves relationships
This statement might seem contradictory. You may be wondering, "How can anger improve the quality of our relationships?" Once again, we must remember what was said above: this emotion provides us with information about what is bothering us, what hurts us and prevents our change.
Anger doesn't want to be suppressed. On the contrary, he wants us to be active and ready to transform reality to improve our lives.
If we remember the goal of this emotion every day, we will be able to improve our well-being. Few things are more harmful in a relationship than keeping quiet about what bothers us or what we don't like.
Repressed anger makes us sick and makes us prisoners. We need to know how to control and manage it and then assertively express what makes us angry, what we don't want and what is in contrast with our values.
To get to know each other better, you have to listen to your anger
If there is a misconception that leads us to think that popular psychology lacks a scientific basis, it is that emotions are divided into good and bad.
According to this approach, bad emotions, such as sadness, anger, fear, disappointment, should be avoided in order to prioritize good ones such as joy, happiness, etc.
Taking this position literally could give us problems. For example, we could fall into that emotional illiteracy in which we can't stand and don't know how to manage important emotions such as anger.
To begin with, all emotions are valid and serve a purpose. Accepting them, tolerating them, knowing how to manage them and understand their message allows us to know ourselves and mature.
Being able to decipher the messages that come from anger helps us to understand who we are, to discover our limits, to know what makes us angry, what makes us nervous and what aspects of us we need to control and improve.
Anger has magnificent potential that each of us should know. Let's not postpone the emotional analysis we can do today until tomorrow. By doing so, we will improve the quality of our life.