The fear behind anger

Who I am
Louise Hay

The fear behind anger

Last update: January 02, 2017

Anger is the maladaptive extreme of anger or rage. The latter are considered healthy, basic and universal emotions, that is, they help us solve the problems we have to deal with, and we all experience them sometime in life.

Anger has the function of protecting us from what can hurt us. In this sense, we could say that it is necessary to get angry when the situation requires it, to set limits that are consistent with the world and with others and express our expectations and needs.

Anger, therefore, is no longer functional since it does not help us, but rather numbs our actions, directed to the achievement of our goals. It also makes us feel very bad emotionally, not to mention how bad it is for our social relationships. It happens that for fear of feeling pain, for fear of suffering, we endure until the emotion says "enough!" and it needs to be expressed.

As if we were a pressure cooker, we are filled with undisclosed annoyances and unspoken questions. In this way, we become angry, a condition that makes us appear hostile and aggressive people.

Others stop taking us seriously or, in turn, get angry with us and the aggressive way of expressing our pain makes us lose the reason that accompanied us at the beginning.

Behind the anger there is a lot of fear

The irascible person, even if he may seem harsh, uncompromising and who commands respect wherever he goes, is basically a being dead of fear. He needs to use this way of expressing himself, this anger to defend himself. What do angry people want to defend themselves against? Evidently from something that can hurt or make them suffer. They are very afraid of suffering and use the strategy of anger to get rid of it.

The question arises: why should these people suffer? The answer is clear: they are afraid of not having their expectations, needs or requests met, because it would mean that the world, life or others do not always do things as they like.

The angry person believes that he is in a dangerous situation, as he does not see his needs met. This presumed danger frightens her and this fear sends the body the signal to fight in defense of the ego. If necessary, theangry will adopt any strategy that you consider consonant with his salvation: shouting, intimidating, breaking things, creating confusion, insulting ... 

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